My Love

To the man who makes me feel like the most beautiful woman on Earth.

To the man who laughs hysterically at my silly jokes.

To the man who tells even more silly jokes and makes me laugh hysterically.

To the man who gets up with the kids when I'm sick and makes their snack, takes the Boy to the bus, picks up my medicine and takes a work call while changing the Movers episode for a really picky Girl.

To the man who thinks that Date Nights are incredibly important and makes it a priority.

To the man who looked at me with wonder and happiness in his eyes when I showed him my teeny baby bump last night.

To the man who patiently explains geography answers, baseball rules and why Douglas Adams is the superior sci-fi writer.

Ben, you are amazing and I am blessed to call you my friend, my husband, my partner, the father of my children and my geek.

Laundry Fairy

Me: "Hon, could you put the delicates in the washer?"

Ben: "...delicates?"

Me: "Um...*pointing* that pile. Just put them in the washer on the delicate cycle."

Ben: "There's a delicate cycle?"

Me: "...you know, I'll just grab them."

Assemble!

Ben and I have been trying to be more deliberate about Date Nights. It's important to us to have time for each other. Since we don't have a regular babysitter and I don't want to kill my mother, we've found a few places that host a Parents Night Out.

Wylie UMC has one from 6-10 every second Friday night. FBC Richardson also has a once-a-month night. They are both reasonably priced and the people who work at both churches are wonderful. The kids have been having a good time playing with new people and other kids. We're hoping that it also starts peeling that separation anxiety away from Milly. (One can dream.)

So that usually gives us 4 hours for a date. We've picked Studio Movie Grill the last few times because we can have dinner and a movie all in one. No time wasted! It was even easier with the Richardson church because it's right down the highway.

On Friday, we dropped the monkeys off at FBC Richardson and went to see The Avengers.

HOT BUTTERED MOSES ON TOAST, THAT MOVIE IS AMAZING.

I'm going to do my best not to give anything away. Joss Whedon and Zak Penn bring together Earth's mightiest heroes in a clever and exciting way. It's not just about the eye candy, either. (Although I did want to slingshot my panties at the screen every time they showed Hawkeye.) Each actor is perfect in their role. Mark Ruffalo plays Bruce Banner as the quiet and somewhat jittery scientist who is trying so hard to be calm and focused on not letting "The Other Guy" take over. Robert Downey Jr. is the penultimate Tony Stark. He's great at showing the assured and wise-cracking front but can also show Tony's vulnerability when needed. Chris Hemsworth is godlike as Thor and I'm not just talking about his pecs. He's truly trying to do the right thing for his people and the Earth that he has taken to heart. Chris Evans is the out-of-his-time Captain America. He's polite but firm in his beliefs and is a leader who quietly takes his place. Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner play the Black Widow and Hawkeye. Both hint at their pasts and I'm ready to know more. They are both fiercely loyal to S.H.I.E.L.D. and Director Nick Fury, played perfectly by Samuel L. Jackson.

The writing has Whedon's mark all over it. It's clever and engaging. There were parts that had us doubled over in laughter and others that had the whole theater literally cheering. The action is all Penn. It's exciting without going too long and making you look at your watch saying "GET ON WITH IT!"

Wylie UMC is having their Parents Night Out this Friday. I don't think it will take too much convincing to get Ben to agree to another round with The Avengers.

Love and Respect

"So each husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself, and each wife should respect her husband."
Ephesians 5:33 CEV 

My church, Lake Pointe, has been doing a new message series called Fixing Your Marriage. The first message was given by Steve Stroope and was centered around this verse. He called the message "The Foundation of Love and Respect".

That Sunday, I had gone to church with Sophie and left Ben at home with a sick Milly and an iffy Gideon. I sat alone in the service listening to Steve talk about how women and men need different things on which to feel "sturdy" in their marriage. He likened it to how we as humans can go for 3 days without food but only 3 days without water.


In marriage, a woman's water is love and a man's water is respect.


This hit me hard and made me listen very close. I knew that men and women were different. Heck, I learned that lesson back in elementary school when the boy I liked acted like a jerk to me and expected me to figure it out that it meant that he liked me back! (Boys are WEIRD.) I just thought that once we hit a certain age that everyone needed love. It's true that we all need love but men feel loved in a different way. They need to know that they are respected. They feel this way in their jobs, by their children and especially by their wives.


Disrespect from a wife can crush a man. Did you know that we hold that kind of power?


Unfortunately, I had no idea how to speak that language. I know my husband's Love Language but how does that translate into respecting him? Is it the same? Is it made of actions or is it done with words? If broken does it take years to repair or can I apologize and fix it with immediate action?


It made me nervous. This is the foundation we're talking about here. I live in a tiny rental house with horrible foundation problems that affect EVERY SINGLE THING in the house. The doors don't close correctly, the plumbing is wonky, the tile gets more crooked every day, the paint is cracked, and so on. When I think about this in regards to my marriage then I get very concerned.


So I went to God. We're still talking it over and rolling out some new programs. There seems to be good feedback. I'm grateful for that message.


How do you show respect to your husband? Does he know what he needs? Can you ask him? Are you showing it now?

50 Questions for Married Dates Pt 2

Here is the eagerly awaited post of conversation starting questions. I hope you enjoy them!

1. What was your favorite childhood toy?  Maybe your loved one will talk to you about his Pooh blanket that he carried around until it was in shreds.  Maybe your wife grew up on Army bases and played with G.I. Joe instead of Barbies.
2. Where has been your favorite place to travel?
3. What memory sticks while taking a vacation?  Did you fall off of a large step in a Jordanian landmark?  Did you get hit by a car while crossing a street in China?  Did you hide Easter Eggs in the snow on a mountain in Germany?
4. Describe your ultimate favorite meal and the 11 living people with whom you would share it.
5. What movie could you watch time and time again and never tire of?  When did you first see it?
6. What jokes make you laugh any time you hear them?  Is it the muffin joke?  That one has to be told JUST RIGHT.
7. What is your guilty pleasure song?  You know every single word but God forbid you let the general public every hear you singing it.  That right is only for your shower or in the car.
8. Have you every thought of an invention that you truly believed could be something amazing?  Even if it's something small?
9. If you could take a school course just for fun what would you take?  Would you learn pottery?  Would you take a detailed World History class?  Would you finally learn Latin?
10. OK, you have a secret room all to yourself in our house.  What is it?  Man Cave?  Craft room?  Bat Cave?  Creaky attic with treasures waiting to be discovered?  Is there a secret passage to get there?  Is it something out of Get Smart?
11. What was the first book you remember reading yourself?  Do you actually remember reading it or have your parents told you that you read it?
12. You are given $1,000.  You have to do something for another person that is not family.  Who do you choose and what do you do?
13. What is one country you want to visit just for the food?
14. Tell me about our first kiss from your point of view.  (Don't say "My eyes were closed.")
15. You probably know about your spouses' pets.  Ask them for the funniest story they can remember about their pet.  Did they find their Christmas Snausages and eat the stocking, too?
16. What was your favorite Halloween costume you've ever worn?
17. You've rubbed a magic lamp and the usual rules apply.  What do you wish for?
18. What movie has ever left you with an awesome, holy monkeys, LET'S WATCH THAT AGAIN RIGHT NOW feeling?
19. What is a food you've never tried but is something very ordinary?  Have you never gotten around to eating a Twinkie?  (Commie.)
20. If they ever started space travel as a normal thing, would you do it?
21. If you were to write a commercial, how would it go?
22. In your opinion, who is the most annoying and overrated band ever?  If they answer "Guns 'n Roses" then quietly get up, walk away from the table and find the nearest divorce lawyer.
23. Would you consent to being a pet for a race of giant alien overlords?
24. What is the nerdiest thing you enjoy doing?  Do you scribble out a list and then painstakingly redo it onto a new sheet of paper so that there are no mistakes?  Do you sort your books by the Dewey Decimal system because alphabetically is too easy?  Do you twirl your umbrella around like you're still in flag corps?
25. If you could "read" yourself into books and interact with characters, what books would you choose?  Those who read Jasper Fforde will understand what I'm talking about.
26. What drives you nuts in bed?  I'm not talking about that, Gutter Brain.  Do you hate to wear socks to bed?  Does it keep you up the covers aren't perfectly tucked in?
27. If you could wear any fashion from any period in time, what would you choose?  Men, are you all going to say Garden of Eden because being naked without shame is the best?
28. What rule did your parents have that was totally stupid until you became a parent and WOW THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW?
29. What are some of the oddest inventions you've ever seen in person?  Ever been to a dairy farm and seen a gigantic milking machine?  Gone to a thrift store and seen the weirdest assortment of somethings until you finally saw a tag telling you that you were holding a pre-War shoe cleaner?
30. Have you ever wanted to collect something but never gotten around to it?
31. What would you collect if you had all of the extra money you wanted?  Yes, cars count.
32. What bizarre American Attraction would you go see?  Largest Ball of Twine?  Museum of Toast?
33. What actor or actress makes you want to stick sporks in your eyes?  It could be the coolest movie in the universe; great story and director but....ugh...that Guy is in it.
34. What is a book that you would love to see made into a movie?
35. What is a movie that you would love to see remade into a BETTER movie?
36. Do you know what your parents would have named you if you weren't *insert name here*?  What if you were the opposite sex?
37. Did you play imaginary games when you were little?  Cops and robbers?  Did you have an Ewok Village?
38. What is the most relaxing thing for you?  To have someone rub your feet?  Body massage?  Whirlpool tub and a bottle of wine?  Giant nest bed and 12 hours of sleep?
39. If you wrote a children's book, what would it be about?  Giant intelligent otters?
40. Pick a memory with the two of you that still makes you laugh.  "Puddles of Christmas Cheer"?
41. Tell each other about someone you really respect.  Is it someone you've met?  Is it an athlete like Jackie Robinson?  Is it someone fictional like Wonder Woman?
42. If you were a superhero, describe your powers and purpose.  Do you have a sidekick?  Are you an alien?
43. If you could be an animal at any time what would you choose?  You can still change back into a human, it would just be another form.
44. What is something crazy that you've always wanted to do but you've never done?  Shave your head?  Jump out of a plane?  Drink milk 4 days past the expiration date?
45. What mythical creature do you wish existed?  Do you want a pet dragon?  Would you befriend an elf?
46. Where would you spend the perfect vacation with your spouse?  2 weeks in Monaco?  Driving down Route 66 in a '69 Mustang?
47. Have you ever played a practical joke that really succeeded?  What did you do?
48. If you could go back in your personal history and confront someone who did you wrong without consequences, who would it be and what would you say?  (My husband helped with this one and suggested "Who would you go back in history and punch?")
49. If you could invent a children's toy, what would it look like?  For what age group?
50. Look your spouse deep in the eye and ask for 5 silly reasons why they love you.

So there you have it.  HOLY BUTTERED HAMSTERS, THIS TOOK FOREVER.

50 Questions for Married Dates Pt 1

It should come as no surprise that I am a complete Pinterest addict.  I currently have 37 boards filled with 2,446 pins.  (That number will probably change quickly.)

One board is dedicated to my partner-in-crime, the mustard to my fries, the potato chips on my tuna sandwich, the one who yelps when I put my cold feet on the backs of his knees in bed, the one who finishes nearly every one of my Simpsons quotes...my husband.

*pause for awww*

There are date and present ideas.  There are reminders of why he's such a stud bagel.  (I'm not a muffin fan.)  Some are serious and most are wonky.  One idea that I snagged was a link to 50 Questions to Ask Your Spouse on a Date Night.  I was excited since most of our date nights begin with us backing out of the driveway vowing not to mention the kids only to find ourselves discussing Gideon's weird rash over the appetizer.

How Pinterest works is you "pin" these ideas to your board to remind yourself to come back and look at it when you have time.  As a SAHM, time is limited so this is a Godsend.  By the time the kids are in bed and I've collapsed on the couch, my brain is mush and I can barely remember what to call the refrigerator much less that awesome website I wanted to check out.

You think I'm joking?  Ask Ben how many times I've asked him to put the milk back in the Hoodle.

Back to the list.  I began reading through these "conversation starters" and well...they sound like a great way to get into an argument by the time the entrees get to the table and divorce papers will come with the cheesecake.  Maybe you that shows how immature Ben and I can be or that we just don't want to face difficult discussions.

Maybe we just don't want to discuss what songs we want played at our funerals while grabbing ice cream and then going to see The Avengers.

So, dearies, I am going to give you my list.  These questions are much more light-hearted but should still invoke conversation between you and your shmoopy.

The Wrapping Drawer

Ben is trying to get cling wrap onto the leftover casserole and is failing. The cling wrap is wildly sticking to everything, including itself, and refuses to tear. I end up helping him hold it still while we wrestle it into place.

Ben: ARGH! I hate this stuff! You have to keep it perfectly straight or it gets everywhere!

Me: (talking for the cling wrap in a Cletus-moron voice) "YAY! I KAN STICK TO FINGS!"

Ben laughs.

Me: Why do we always go for the moron voice when describing things?

Ben: Well, it is the moron of the drawer.

Me: True. Parchment paper is the snooty cousin.

Ben: The Ziploc bags are the...

Both: ...nerds / techy types.

This is where I fling my arms around him and smooch him soundly for not just laughing at my joke, not just making a joke of his own but finishing the joke with the same bizarro thoughts as me.

This is why we fit. It is also why our children don't have a snowball's chance in Mordor of being normal.

Drinks All Around

Me: Ooh! I thought of a new kahlua drink!

Ben: Oh?

Me: Don't call me a lush.

Ben: I didn't...out loud.

Me: It's from being raised so strictly southern baptist.

Ben: Well, I'm glad you're making up for it now.

Me: I barely have time to make up for it now. You keep getting me pregnant.

Ben: Do you hear how awful that sounds?

Me: Ugh.

Ben: Fine. I'm sorry I keep knocking you up and getting in the way of your make-up drinking.

5 Silly Reasons Why I Love My Husband

We got silly one day and I suggested this challenge. It was fun to do and now I want to share it with others. These are five "silly" reasons why I love Ben Dyer. Silly does not mean stupid. It just means not totally lovey-dovey-serious-wedding-vow type of reason.

1. I love seeing Ben the day he trims his beard. He looks so much like the boy I knew in middle school. It makes me want to run and grab that San Antonio Spurs cap and put it backwards on his head. Then we can go make out behind an elementary school.

2. I love watching Ben with the kids. He has this dance that he does called the Daddy Dance that the kids love and beg for every day when he comes home. He sits and plays cars with Gideon. He doesn't just give cars to Gideon, he actually PLAYS CARS like another kid. He knows the right way to ease a baby into being tossed into the air and taught me the Daddy Tricks of the Trade. I still can't do it right and he's the only one who can make Milly grin like a maniac.

3. He is BRILLIANT. We can spend a wonderful afternoon with an Atlas open between us and him explaining how the world has changed over the years. (Yes, we're dorks.) It's started the most amazing conversations where I no longer feel like just a cook/maid/wiper of butts. We are just two adults talking about the ramifications of the War of the Roses.

4. One day we will settle once and for all just who knows more about the Simpsons. For now, he is teaching me more about Futurama and enjoying every minute of it. I love that we don't even have to quote Simpsons or Futurama anymore. We just give each other That Look and giggle because we know what the other one is thinking.

5. He is the funniest person on the planet. From witty remarks to stupid muffin jokes, the man just makes me laugh every single day. Seriously, make him tell you the muffin joke.

I love you, Ben.