Really.

Two Months Ago

Me and the Hubby: "I think we're just going to have 3 children."

1 Month Ago

Go through clothes, toys and everything baby-related. Purge all things under 18-months. Give clothes to Goodwill, second hand stores and the new Cobb baby. Cry over tiny onesies dripping with memories and old spit-up stains. Take a deep breath and shut the boxes.

2 Weeks Ago

Start enrolling the kids in school for the fall. Look into preschools for the baby. Begin to enjoy this next stage of life with school age kids. There is a light at the end of the tunnel with everyone wiping their own butts. It's getting closer.

Friday August 3rd, 12:30 AM

Violently wake husband.

Same Day, 12:00 PM

Doctor: "Congrats! You're due in early April!"

NOTE: ANY COMMENTS WITH THE WORDS "DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT CAUSES THAT?" AND "I TOLD YOU SO!" WILL BE REQUIRED TO COME WITH A $25 DONATION TO THE 'WE GAVE AWAY ALL OF THE BABY STUFF' FUND.

Omnicient

While walking out after dropping my kids off at MDO, I passed a group of kids lining up for chapel. I heard two boys whisper;

"She has big boobies!"

Without turning around I said;

"I heard that and so did Jesus!"

I hope their worship is adjusted accordingly.

My Babies

We're all still in our pajamas at 12:30 in the afternoon.

There has been so much snuggling, kisses, zerbets and tickling. Or, as Sophie calls it, "chickles".

Milly's curls look like they're made out of cotton candy and they still smell like her lavender baby wash. She smiles around her little thumb in her mouth while she tucks her head under my chin and her body under my arm. She coughs and wails in a scratchy voice because she has her first case of strep throat. Then she burrows onto my shoulder because it's the only place where she feels comforted.

Gideon's giant brown eyes twinkle as he imitates the genie's magic-wish-granting dance on Imagination Movers. He's talking so much more. Yesterday he drank an apple juice box with my help. He knew he that if he squeezed the box then it would go everywhere so I held it. His big eyes crossed as he concentrated on the straw and his grubby little fingers clutched my hand.

Sophie is so used to the potty that she doesn't make a fuss at all. She turns on the overhead fan and takes toys to her siblings. She wants to help with everything so badly and she's very capable. She loves having a task to do. Her favorite is the laundry. She loves filling the washer all by herself.

We're all a little weak from the sickness that has plagued us for weeks. Milly is still the worst. We still take antibiotics every morning and night and there is still coughing. Milly gets a little pain medicine before she lays down to take a nap with her Reveille Pillow Pet. I watch Gideon warily to make sure that the coughing doesn't turn into wheezing. Sophie's eyebrow is almost totally healed and I don't think she'll scar.

Being a mother is so much work. It's a job that lasts 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. There is no sick time or vacation time. There are nights that I fall into bed exhausted at the thought of 3 very energetic kids starting early the next morning. There are times where I long for a day with no one touching me.

I really cannot wait for the day where I never change another poopy diaper.

Today, I feel blessed. I have three incredible children that fill my heart to bursting. I want to remember these moments when they are taller than me, far away from me and I'm not in charge of kissing their hurts.

Today, I will zerbet because I can. I will delight in baby girl curls, little boy gibberish and little girl help. I will let kiddo laughter fill my heart.

Kid Love

Sophie is looking at me from the floor. She's laying on her nap mat for quiet time. I hold up my hand in the "I love you" sign and say "I love you, Sophie!" She studies my hand and then looks at her hand. She pushes and pulls her fingers in different ways.

Then she holds her hand up to me, middle finger sticking proudly in the air, and says "I love you, Mama!"

Thank you, darling.

Hold Me

I tried watching eye makeup tutorials on You Tube last night. I want to get more involved in my makeup routine of "moisturize-powder-lipstick-done".

After watching 4 middle school girls show me how to correctly apply Urban Decay Primer (what the?!) and then mix 19 different colors from a giant train case with 5 different brushes, I got scared and hid under my comforter with Zero Punctuation videos.

I'm sorry, Erin. I tried.

Hair Raising Tales

I'm done with the meltdowns when we have to brush her hair, wash her hair, get peanut butter out of her hair, look at her hair...

So tonight I did something about it.

Ben: "Holy cow, you weren't just ranting about that!"

I put Sophie's hair in a low braid and cut it off. Then I trimmed it as best I could. Now my baby looks like this:

Dear Lord, ignore my messy living room.

Hopefully this is the beginning of the end of the Hair Wars.

Coconutty

The Boy is napping. Actually napping.

Milly has finished her nap and is chatting to herself. I have her lunch ready.

Sophie is watching an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

I am...um..."indisposed" and feel comfortable enough that Sophie won't set something on fire that I actually close the door.

All of the sudden, the door FLIES open and Sophie is standing there with her big Daisy doll and little Daisy doll clutched to her.

"DA POCO TAKER!", she says in a hushed tone. Then she leaves. (That's "The coconut taker!" in Sophie-speak and a quote from the episode.)

Then I laugh until I cry.

Ppppbbbbllllttt!!!!!!

Gideon is the only one of my children who loves stomach zerbets.

He climbs onto the couch beside me, lurches over, raises his shirt with a giant grin on his face and then plasters himself on my face.

His meaning being "ZERBET MY TUMMY OR SUFFOCATE.  MAKE YOUR CHOICE, MAMA!"

Imitation Is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

I'm settling the kids down for their naps.  Sophie usually has a "quiet time" in my bed since she shares a room with Gideon and keeps him up the whole time.

Sophie snuggles down into my bed with her dozen dolls and grabs the sleep mask I use when I sleep.  Nesting herself into all of the pillows on the bed, she puts the mask over her eyes.

Me:  "Are you going to sleep with Mama's mask?"

Sophie:  "Niy-niy!"

What a little cutie.  She's imitating her Mama!

I kiss her sweet little forehead.

Me:  "OK.  I love you, sweetie."

Sophie:  "I SAY NIY-NIY!"

*blink*

Me:  (under my breath)  "Have a pleasant nap, Missie Sahib."

Things That Made Me Smile

Watching Sophie knock on the door of the Little People Ark and announce loudly "Come in!"

Watching Milly take two wobbly steps and then drop to the floor to crawl psychotically fast to what she wants.

Looking around frantically for Gideon only to find him lying behind the couch cushion where I usually sit almost totally camouflaged.

Excuse You

(Ben is out running errands this afternoon and the other kids are asleep. I'm in my bed with Sophie trying to take a nap and convince her to do the same.)

*LOUD GINORMOUS FART THAT RATTLES THE BED*

*Sophie giggles*

Me: "Sophie, say excuse me."

Sophie: "Dada!"

Me: "It wasn't Dada."

Sophie: "DADDY!"

Me: "I heard it come out of your butt. It shook the whole blanket."

Sophie: *very insistent* "DAAADAAAA!"

Me: "Sophia, Daddy isn't even in the house! He's not even in the same city!"

Sophie: "IT DADA!!!!"

Me: *sigh* "Fine. Daddy tooted. Now go to sleep."

Sophie: "Ew."

Don't Blink

I'm trying to create a freezer stash of meals and meal prep stuff. Yesterday I made spicy black beans in the crockpot and today I browned about 4 pounds of ground beef into taco beef. These will be portioned out and frozen ready to pull out and make quick dinners. I have to do it a little at a time because of the three maniacal kids at my feet.

I was reminded of that today when I came out of the kitchen and found Milly with her head in the fireplace.

She had climbed up and over the blockade of pillows, the brick hearth and some small boxes that were in her way.

My daughter is a mountain goat. Please send lots of Visine. I'm never blinking again.

Loner

I have tried to get Sophie to nap today. It did not go well and ended with her leaping from my bed after 45 minutes of tantrums. Now she wanders the house.

Sophie: "Gibbon?" (This is how she says Gideon.)

Me: "Sorry, kiddo. He's napping."

Sophie: "Oh. Nih-nih, Gibbon. Mei-Mei?!"

Me: "Also napping."

Sophie: "Oh...ni-ni, Mei-Mei."

*crestfallen sigh as she goes to play by herself.*

Sorry, kid. EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS NAPPING BUT YOU. LEARN FROM THEM.

Companion

A package arrived for me yesterday. I came out onto the porch and picked up the big brown box only to be greeted with the familiar sounds of the TARDIS whooshing.

For a brief moment, I thought "OMG, THE DOCTOR HAS BEEN MINIATURIZED AND MAILED HIMSELF TO ME SO THAT I CAN HELP HIM FIGHT THIS BATTLE!"

Then I realized that it was probably my TARDIS cookie jar from Think Geek.

Still cool.

Toe Jam

I just got to clean spinach puree from between my baby's toes.

An Addendum to the Last Post

Dear Aging Hippie in the Sprouts parking lot,

I forgot that I had left my radio volume on 60. I'm sorry that Kansas began screaming Carry On My Wayward Son loud enough to make you nearly drop your bag of organic fruit bark and tofu nuggets, poop onto your vegan TOMS and slam the door of your silver Prius.

I'm not sorry I giggled all the way home.

Glamour

This morning I cheered on a three year old as she removed her gown and put on pants. I also explained how cream would make her red butt feel better so that she would allow me to put it on her because everything must be explained now.

Then I wrestled my very angry, very poopy 2 year old little boy until he was clean. He wanted to grab handfuls of poo to fling at me because I was stifling his creativity or something.

Lastly, after feeding my 6 month old daughter, she leaned back and sighed. Then she gave a tiny cough and explosively spit up all over me. And then leaned back and sighed again.

My life is magical.

Choices

Everytime I prop up a bottle to feed my baby instead of holding it myself I feel guilty.

Then today I thought "You know, if I was breastfeeding, I wouldn't be obsessively holding my boob to her face."

I feel better now.