Diznee:There's Profit to be Had!

Dear Sophie and Gideon,

Like nearly every other child in the universe, you've become obsessed with Frozen. I can usually handle this. We've got the movie and the dolls. Sophie is dressing up as Elsa for Halloween and Gideon is going to be Olaf.

Yes, Gideon-bear, I know. You want to be Elsa, too. But four Elsa's are just a few too many. Someone has to be Olaf just like someone has to be Anna. (That's Milly.) Suck it up, dude. Sophie called dibs on the Queen first. At least you're not Sven like Rory!

Every day we listen to the soundtrack and you recite the dialogue. You both love knocking on closed doors and asking "Do you want to build a snowman?"

Please stop doing that when Mommy is going potty.

The latest thing is getting dangerous. I have no problem with you acting out some of the scenes. But lately I've seen Gideon leaping off of higher and higher structures - chairs, couches, THE STAIRCASE - while Sophie yells "Anna, wait!"

Guys...Mommy can't take you to the magic love trolls. Mommy can only take you to the ER and they are WAY less understanding. They don't "remove the magic but leave the fun". They just remove you from Mommy's care.

So let's just keep it to some nice safe viewings of the movie for the 475,836th time in forever and watch Daddy's eye twitch get stronger.

Love,

Mama

Dear Sophie

Today you are 6 years old. It's the first birthday where you actually understand what is going on. (Mostly.)

You asked for purple cupcakes and pink balloons and pink party hats. I found pink cupcakes to bring to school but I'm making purple cupcakes for tomorrow. I even have a pink birthday 6 candle just like you asked. There are balloons, a giant sock monkey, your first real doll and a giant "Happy Birthday" banner.

6 years ago, you were in the Baylor NICU and I was in my hospital room. I had a booklet with three pictures of you. It was still hard to walk so I had only seen you once. We couldn't really hold you because of all of the wires. Your daddy and I lifted you up while the nurses changed your sheet. You weighed 5 pounds 2 ounces. I'm sure it didn't take both of us to lift you up but I'm grateful to that nurse for giving us the chance to be parents to our little girl.

I will always remember that night. I couldn't sleep. At 3 AM, I walked down to the NICU to see you again while your daddy slept. The nurses set me up in a glider rocker and helped me arrange you on my chest for kangaroo care. Your tiny head barely rested on my left breast and your feet tucked right into my cleavage.

(16-year old you is asking me why I'm talking about boobs. Settle down, cranky.)

Your entire body relaxed. You sighed and fell asleep. I held your hand and looked and your tiny fingers while tears ran down my face. You weren't supposed to be here this soon. You were still supposed to be safely growing in my belly. Monitors beeped around us. There was an IV taped to your scalp. You were so tired after such a long ordeal. I was so sore. I hadn't slept. My hormones were running wild.

So we rocked. We both relaxed. We both slept. Mother and daughter healed each other.

Thank you, my girl. Thank you for being my Sophia.

Participation

Today begins NaNoWriMo. Writing every day in November? Let's give it another go.

Last night was Halloween. It was another Halloween that we didn't really celebrate. Not because we're fundamentalists ready to cry "witchcraft!" at every jack-o-lantern, but because it just didn't work for us this year.

We eat at 5:00. The kids play and then go to bed at 6:00. This is the routine.

YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ROUTINE.

I made costumes for Sophie and Gideon this year. They don't really tolerate anything complicated so I just put together simple outfits of Jake and Izzy from Jake and the Neverland Pirates. (Their new obsession.) I bought a Princess Leia dress for Milly and a monkey costume for Rory.

We took them to a Fall Festival at the beginning of the month. It was hosted by the SOAR program at Lake Pointe Church. Sophie and Gideon go to the SOAR class on Sundays. It's one of the only churches we know of with a special needs program and we're grateful for it. They ate hot dogs and bounced around for an hour. They had a good time. It was too hot for Rory's money costume so she just wore a Halloween onesie.

Last night, we considered going Trick-or-Treating at Firewheel Mall but it was going to start too late for us. Gideon and Rory went grocery shopping with me and were exhausted. Milly didn't nap that day. So, no trick-or-treating this year.

I get frustrated sometimes when we have to miss something again. I want my kids to have these experiences. I want them to look back at pictures of Halloween costumes and Crazy Hair Day at school. I have to remember that it's about them and not about me. If they don't feel comfortable with dressing up or breaking routine then I have to respect that. They don't even understand the concept of Halloween yet and that's OK. We'll go when they understand it more.

I'll just stock up on clearanced candy for now.

Frustration

I don't know any other ways to try.

• Sticker chart.
• Put her in panties.
• Leave her bare butt.
• Try to explain that she already goes tee-tee in the potty. Why not poop?
• Leave her on the potty for over 30 minutes.
• Go to the potty every 20 minutes.

People, I have NOTHING ELSE. She goes to the potty. She just flat out refuses to poop in the potty. If you leave her bare butt then she waits and holds it until nighttime when we put a pull-up on her for the night. If you try to talk to her about it then you either get a completely blank stare or she gets angry because you're taking her away from something that she wants to do.

I'm frustrated. I'm angry. I'm so freaking tired of autism. I hate it. I love my daughter fiercely. She is brilliant and there is so much locked away from me.

Not a Morning Person

Me: "Do you want yogurt?"

Sophie: *dying buffalo grunts and fling body on the floor*

Me: "Sophie, you just say 'No, thank you!' if you don't want something."

Sophie: "N'TANKOO!"

Me: "OK. How about toast?"

Sophie: *flop and whine*

Me: *warning* "Sophie..."

Sophie: "N'TANKOO!"

Me: "OK. Would you like toys or a book?"

Sophie: *with defiant flop* "N'TANKOO!"

Me: "Would you just like to be a little fart for a while?"

Sophie: "N'TANKOO!"

Me: "Too late."

Specifically

Sophie: "May I cheese?"

Me: "Cheese? Sure!"

*go to the kitchen*

Sophie: "Issa yeh-no cheese!"

Me: "OK."

Sophie: "Issa yeh-no stick cheese!"

Me: "Got it."

Sophie: "Issa yah-no stick cheese for Sophie!"

Me: "WORKING ON IT!"

*deliver yellow stick cheese*

Sophie: "May I drink?"

Me: "Oy."

Bits and Pieces

I am just no good at this blogging everyday thing. Here's what's been going on lately.

• Gideon is addicted to cheese. He eats two or three cheese sticks a day. Last night, I introduced him to Rotel dip. It's now his new love language.
• I've been pulling clothes and doing laundry all week. I think I finally have all of the kids' clothes ready to pack. Onto the adults stuff tonight.
• I've been mainlining Law & Order lately. It ticks me off that Netflix only has the first 8 seasons of the original show. I've watched all of them and moved on to SVU.
• Milly has a new lovey. It's a blanket with tags all around the sides. She tiptoes around the house with the lovey clutched to her cheek and her thumb in her mouth. CUTEST. THING. EVER.
•  Sophie got her hair cut at the salon. We went as soon as they opened and I let her explore for 20 minutes before sitting down. She did a great job. Her new haircut suits her perfectly!

And now, the picture parade...

My Shopping Trip

We needed some errands run today. I did the summer-to-winter clothes switch in the kids room and took inventory. Gideon was fine. Milly could use some shirts. Sophie had 2 shirts, 2 jeans and 2 pants to her name. The pants are nearing high-water territory and the jeans give her plumbers crack. Since she's so difficult to fit, I brought Sophie along with me. We also took a play kitchen that the kids only use so they can slam the fake fridge door.

I've realized that Sophie is out of toddler clothes and starting to need little girl clothes. My usual go-to place is Target and resale shops for kiddo clothes. Unfortunately, I've seen very little in the way of clothes I will allow my little girl to wear in Target. Off to Once Upon a Child we went. We turned in the kitchen at the front and began to browse. Sophie trotted up and down aisles pulling every blingy-sequiny pink and purple piece of clothing down.

"IS SO PITTY! IS SPARKERS!"
"Yes, dear. I know you prefer the Liberace look."

Here's what we came home with:

• pair of jeans (Sophie)
• pair of purple pants (Sophie)
• 4 long sleeved shirts (Sophie)
• sweater dress (Sophie)
• jacket (Sophie)
• 3 dinosaurs (Gideon)
• Texas Tech onesie (New Kid)
• Rangers dress (Milly)
• sparkly purple hair bow (Sophie)

 After the resale of the kitchen and a 20% coupon, I paid a little over $20. TWENTY DOLLARS. This is why it pays to shop resale.

After the victory lap, we ran to Target for a few things. Sophie and I go to Target often and at the end of the shopping trip we usually get an Icee for Sophie and a drink for me. Sophie laid back in the cart with her cherry Icee and grinned at me.

"I love a shop wit Mama."

So do I, baby.

School Days

Sophie and Gideon just brought home their first report cards a few weeks ago. It felt surreal to be on the other end of that piece of paper. Since my kiddos don't come home and tell me about school, it was also a glimpse into what's happened so far.

Both kids have made HUGE leaps with their vocabulary.  Sophie started the year using single words and repeating simple sentences occasionally. Now she uses simple sentences on her own. Gideon began almost completely non-verbal. The first month of school he used a little recorder with a big button to communicate. His teacher would record the answer ahead of time, ask a question and then let Gideon hit the button to "answer". Now he's repeating single words and using words of his own without the recorder. Actually, he's used the recorder the last few days. Ben and I have talked about trying to see where Gideon's autism ends and his introverted nature begins. Sometimes he just doesn't talk because he's too shy or there's too many people around. That's not autism; that's the Dyer male. (With the exception of my father-in-law who, I believe, got the talkative nature for 6 generations of Dyer males.)

In addition to the report cards, I've gotten an update in a binder each day telling me what they learned, what centers they played and other tidbits. They both started the year playing alone or playing with the teacher's help. Now Sophie comes home with "played with friends" circled almost daily. She's even mentioned a few of her classmates names! Gideon has even had it circled a few times. I really hope they're making friends. I know how hard it is even without the autism. Every time I see that circle, my heart swells to think of my little man stepping out of his comfort zone to play with his classmates.

Sophie has been going to the regular Pre-K room for 20 minutes each day for 4 days a week. She participates in their Circle Time. After 2 weeks, I spoke to her teacher who said that Sophie was quiet and a little afraid of the Pre-K teacher. She stayed close to her aide and wouldn't look at the teacher or talk to her. This broke my heart because it sounded so familiar. I can remember being terrified of a teacher each year in school until high school. It was never my homeroom teacher but was always one I didn't see all of the time. I discussed this with Sophie's teacher who said that she would talk to the Pre-K teacher to see if there was anything they could do. After a week she said that Sophie would talk and smile at the teacher. Now she eagerly goes to her other classroom and will interact with the kids and the teacher. I'm so proud of her for conquering her fears.

In 8 weeks, I've seen massive changes. I can't wait to see what happens by the end of the year.

Hot Diggety Dog

Sophie: "You wanna hot dog?"

Me: "You want a hot dog for dinner?"

Sophie: "A hog dog!"

Me: "OK, we'll get you a hot dog."

*beat*

Sophie: "Hot dog?!"

Me: "Yes, Sophie. We're getting you a hot dog."

*beat*

Sophie: "Hot dog?!"

Me: "Yes, Sophie. I just ordered your hot dog."

*beat*

Sophie: "But...hot dog?"

Me: "Sophie, the hot dog is in the front seat. We're going home and you can eat your hot dog."

*beat*

Sophie: "Hot dog?!?"

Me: "SOPHIE. Walk into the house and I will put the hot dog down in front of you and YOU CAN EAT THE HOT DOG."

*go inside. put hot dog on the table in front of child.*

Sophie: "...NOPE."

Not one bite was eaten by the girl.

If you will excuse me, I'm going to go replace my brain with a toothpick model of Mount Rushmore.

Riding the Bus

They're waiting on the bus. It's so much fun to walk them to the stop sign and wait to see their eyes light up when they see it!

Roundup

Oh my gracious, I have a blog. I'll get back on track with a never-done-before bullet point post!

• Sophie and Gideon have been going to the sensory gym for the last month. They are settling in and learning to follow directions. Sophie has learned how to flip backwards! Gideon jumps on the trampoline with no help! This is going so well and I'm excited to see what else they learn.
• Sophie and Gideon have also been accepted into the PPCD classes at our local elementary school. Gideon will go to the morning half-class and Sophie will go in the afternoon. Both will ride the bus back and forth to the school. They start on Monday. We'll go to Open House on Wednesday night so they can meet the teacher and see their classroom. I get to buy school supplies on Thursday! I'm way too excited about school supplies, first day outfits and bus routines. OK...I'm half excited and half sobbing every 30 minutes. MY BABIES!!!
• I've called an ABA therapist to see if our insurance will pay for behavioral therapy. She says that the kids would go for 2-4 hours a week at the least. WOW. Let's schedule that around school, Milly's MDO and the kids' new gym times on Wednesday. She's also looking into getting speech therapy approved, too. That's another 45 minutes a week. My weeks are starting to fill up.
• Milly will go back to South Garland Baptist's MDO in September. She'll go on Wednesdays and Fridays from 9-2. I had originally looked for a 4-5 day program for her but I changed my mind. There's not much time before Milly is no longer the baby of the family. I want some time with just her before that change.
• Milly will also start ECI on Wednesday. The ENT said that she's not hearing well and will need ear tubes. The ECI therapist will do speech therapy. Maybe she'll learn to say Mama again!
• Ear tubes. Milly needs them. Gideon will go to the ENT after this last round of antibiotics for another ear infection. Sophie had her first ear infection after her tubes. There's a good possibility that 2 or all of the kids will need tubes. OY.

Then there's the new baby!

HOW FAR ALONG ARE YOU?
6 weeks, give or take. According to Baby Center this means that his/her heart is beating. That makes me all fuzzy.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
Grumpy, weepy, happy, sleepy...your basic dwarf moodiness. Add in the migraines, caffeine withdrawal and "morning" sickness and I'm a treat to be around.

ANYTHING DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER TIMES?
I'm experiencing dizziness and vertigo for the first time. It's bizarre! I'll be going about my normal business when spots will suddenly blur my vision and I'll sit down hard. The doctor has said that it's normal and to eat more protein rich foods. It also helps if I move slowly and take a few minutes to move around and get my blood flowing.

NEXT DOCTOR APPOINTMENT?
September 6th. I'll have my first ultrasound and she'll probably take some blood. My doctor does an ultrasound at every appointment. It's nice to see that little peanut every time I go in.

Go about your business. I'm sure I'll be back eventually to post pictures of Sophie and Gideon's first day at school.

Stuff I Like

Here's some stuff that's totally digging my chili right now.

• Paul Mitchell's Tea Tree Hair and Scalp Treatment.

Does it make me feel like I've set my head on fire? YES. Is my scalp finally not flaking from eczema/psoriasis/whatever's been on there for decades? EVEN YESSER.

• Warehouse 13 

Season 4 just began. Kate Mulgrew, AKA Captain Janeway, is my favorite character on the show. Brent Spiner, AKA Data, is guest starring. It's a glorious geeky delight.

• Lady of America in Sachse

This is the gym I joined. I love going because it's all women. Men, you're cool and all that but I like a gym where Ricky Martin and Backstreet Boys blare while I watch The View on my stationary bike. Also? YOGA ROCKS.

• Raising Cane's Chicken

Crispy chicken fingers, crinkle fries, sweet tea and a sauce that I could bathe in. DUDE. I have got to learn how to make this sauce at home and possibly cut the calories down.

• Spelling Apps from Learning Touch

Sophie has been playing the original animal app for months. In the last month, she's started spelling words and asking for us to spell everything on Earth. We bought the deluxe version and she began playing today. (After a little agitation at the thought of trading her tried-and-true app for something new.) These work. Plain and simple. 

The Princess and the Pothole

Sophie likes to look around and comment on everything in the world while she rides in the car. We hear commentary like "Red light! Red light means stop!" and "Issa red octomagononon!"

I love it when she adds 19 extra syllables to her words. Cutest thing ever.

Whenever we go over a bump, no matter how small, Sophie asks the riders of the car "You OK? I'm OK!" Every single bump. Every single time. Sometimes we answer her and sometimes we just let her talk to herself.

Last week we got to go and visit my new niece and my beautiful sister-in-law. (Fine. And my brother.) It took about 45 minutes to get to the hospital. During about 15 minutes of that commute we went over some grooved pavement. This turned Sophie into the Micro Machines Man on crack.

"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"

There was no breath in between shrieks and answering her didn't stop the script. I turned on the Imagination Movers soundtrack but she just got louder.

"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"

When the ground finally smoothed into regular pavement again and we were able to turn down the Movers, I glanced back at Sophie. She had been sitting rigidly upright in her seat and was frantically looking around to make sure that WE WERE ALL OK, DEAR LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY WORLD IT'S GONE ALL SHAKY. After it was all over, she just calmly sat back and began pointing out yellow trimangangles.

The twitch in my eye is almost gone.

Sophie Sings!

You learned how to sing the alphabet song. Mama is so proud of you, Sophie-Chan!

Half Time!

Sophie is starting to take an interest in how she looks. Whenever I fix her hair, she runs for the bathroom mirror to preen and look at how beautiful she is. I found a pair of knock-off Crocs in purple and she wears them at every possible moment. (Including trying to get them into the bathtub. ) She also has a pair of neon green Converse that make her little heart go pitter pat. Her latest fashion statement are her tutus. She has a yellow one and a purple one. (Purple is her favorite color.)

Today was Royalty Day at Mother's Day Out. I sat down last night and tried desperately to make Sophie a shiny crown to wear. She actually showed a lot of enthusiasm at my ham-handed attempt at craftiness and wore it to school today.

Pink shirt, purple tutu, yellow glitter socks, neon green shoes, tinfoil crown.

She's beautiful, my precious Firstborn. However...as I gaze at this picture...I can only think of one thing...

Yep. That's my girl.

In Sickness and in Health...

On Thursday, Sophie and Gideon both started running fevers. Sophie ran faster and got up to 103. Gideon sounded like he was going to cough up a lung. We drugged them and got them to sleep. My beloved mother came over on Friday when I woke up with a fever and sore throat, too. After two doctor appointments, the verdicts were in:

Sophie - Strep throat

Gideon - Strep throat, double ear infection

Mama - Sinus infection, seasonal allergies

Since Milly was not showing any signs of being sick, my mother whisked her away to Camp Grandparents where she would be plied with toys, food, individual cuddles and anything else her little heart desired. My parents are pretty much softies when it comes to their grandchildren. That child is going to come back as rotten as a black banana. BUT! She probably won't get sick.

Ben came home with all of our medicines and we started the rounds of sitting on chests and prying their mouths open to pour strawberry flavored caulk down their throats. I really should put sympathy cards in our neighbors' mailboxes after Gideon's fit that caused half of the shingles to come loose and fly through the windows.

I'm assuming that this strep came from them going back to Mother's Day Out. Anytime kids get social they always share something more than their toys.

It also made me giggle because I remembered my funniest strep story. I had strep all of the time when I was younger until my tonsils were voted out of the tribe when I was 19. When I was a senior in high school, I got strep at the beginning of the year. I started feeling sick at a school kick-off thing held in the cafeteria one evening. I was with the band sitting on the floor when I started feeling hot and dizzy. I suddenly didn't care what was on that disgusting floor and only cared that the tile was cool against my cheek. Things weren't getting better when it was time to go home. I drove my boyfriend, who said he was also feeling funny, in my mom's Chevy Lumina minivan. (I was just that cool.) I got home and mom took me to urgent care. They told us that my wimpy tonsils had once again given up against the strep bug. When I got home, I remembered that my boyfriend had been feeling gross too.

Yeah.

First I had to tell my mother that my boyfriend was sick with probably the same thing which meant basically telling her that I had been swapping spit with a boy. Then I had to call and tell him that I had strep and that's probably why his throat was closing up. Of course, his throat hurt so I talked to his mother instead. How do you call your boyfriend's mother and tell her that you know why her son is feeling sick because you're the diseased harlot that infected him? I tried to soften the blow by offering to bring ice cream. We were teased for WEEKS because we were both out sick at the same time with a disease that you can get from KISSING, OMG THEY WERE KISSING! Even the band directors gave us a hard time.

So now I look at my strep-diseased Sophie and wonder...just how close is that boy in her MDO class?

Kid Love

Sophie is looking at me from the floor. She's laying on her nap mat for quiet time. I hold up my hand in the "I love you" sign and say "I love you, Sophie!" She studies my hand and then looks at her hand. She pushes and pulls her fingers in different ways.

Then she holds her hand up to me, middle finger sticking proudly in the air, and says "I love you, Mama!"

Thank you, darling.

Naptime

May in Texas

...means pool time!