Dear Children...

Dear Eldest,

Yes. That's Grover. IT'S ALWAYS GROVER. Please stop telling Mommy. Mommy's ears are tired.
In other news, poop goes in the potty. Not your panties. QUIT IT.

Love,
Earless Mommy

Dear Boy Child,

Stop stuffing HANDFULS of Goldfish in your mouth. That is why you choke. Also, naptime is from 1-3. Plan accordingly. I don't care if you fall asleep at 2:50; I'm getting you up at 3:00.

Love,
Nap Nazi Mommy

Dear Sunshine Littles,

If you are done with your food, please simply wave your hands in the air. (Whether you care or not.) Do not attempt to decorate the floor within a 2 foot radius with your leftovers. It makes spaghetti night even more annoying.

Love,
Grateful-You're-Cute Mommy

p.s. Butt cream helps your butt. Please stop eating it.