Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Diznee:There's Profit to be Had!

Dear Sophie and Gideon,

Like nearly every other child in the universe, you've become obsessed with Frozen. I can usually handle this. We've got the movie and the dolls. Sophie is dressing up as Elsa for Halloween and Gideon is going to be Olaf.

Yes, Gideon-bear, I know. You want to be Elsa, too. But four Elsa's are just a few too many. Someone has to be Olaf just like someone has to be Anna. (That's Milly.) Suck it up, dude. Sophie called dibs on the Queen first. At least you're not Sven like Rory!

Every day we listen to the soundtrack and you recite the dialogue. You both love knocking on closed doors and asking "Do you want to build a snowman?"

Please stop doing that when Mommy is going potty.

The latest thing is getting dangerous. I have no problem with you acting out some of the scenes. But lately I've seen Gideon leaping off of higher and higher structures - chairs, couches, THE STAIRCASE - while Sophie yells "Anna, wait!"

Guys...Mommy can't take you to the magic love trolls. Mommy can only take you to the ER and they are WAY less understanding. They don't "remove the magic but leave the fun". They just remove you from Mommy's care.

So let's just keep it to some nice safe viewings of the movie for the 475,836th time in forever and watch Daddy's eye twitch get stronger.


Sunday, July 13, 2014


Rory has started an annoying habit. Whenever I pick her up from MDO, she begins looking and asking for Daddy.

"Dada? *glance* Daaa-DAH!"
"Nope, just Mama. Remember me?"
*shoves my face out of the way*
"Dada! Dada! DadadadadadadaDAH!"
"That whole 'giving birth' thing meant nothing to you, didn't it?"

She continues this sing-song Dada thing for the 2 hours it takes to go and pick up her siblings and bring them home. Finally we get inside and I set her down in front of her favored person and tell him that she's been asking for him. He picks her up gleefully.

"Hi sweetheart!"
*blank look*
*lean out of his arms*
*claw her way to the floor*
*race to me*
*climb onto my lap*
*rolls on me like a puppy*

We can't win.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Bring the Music Back

Music is a funny thing. I react viscerally to a lot of music. There have been times where I need to be careful when playing music while driving. Otherwise I'll find myself in front of a judge asking me why I hopped out of the car and slugged the policeman, who pulled me over doing 85 in a school zone, while yelling F*** YOU I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME.

And I'll have to be honest with him.

"I'm sorry, Your Honor, I was driving under the influence of Rage Against the Machine."

I'm a 90's kid and I am completely unapologetic about my love for bands like Green Day, Nirvana, REM, Ace of Base, and No Doubt. I love Sarah McLachlan, Natalie Merchant, and Tori Amos and I'm still angry that Lilith Fair is over.

One band that I've always loved is Smashing Pumpkins. However, my first husband was also a huge fan. We even had a Pumpkins song in our wedding. For the last 8 years, I haven't been able to listen to any Pumpkins music. My stomach got tight and I felt very anxious. I had to turn it off.

Last week, for the first time, I was able to listen to a few songs and enjoy them again. 1979...Today...Tonight, Tonight...only some of the big ones. I can listen to Disarm again and it makes me smile.

I have my music back. That makes me smile a lot more. And drive a little faster, seriously Kelly, you've got to stop doing that.