Thursday, April 12, 2012

10 Things I Have Learned in 4 Years of Motherhood

  1. If I rip the delicate little tab off then I will reach for packing tape instead of another diaper.
  2. I can tell you which of my kids has soiled themselves just by the smell.
  3. I can walk down 3 grocery store aisles with my daughter hanging from my shirt, bringing the neckline down to my navel, and not notice a thing.
  4. Bubble baths are sacred.
  5. I can carry a boneless and shrieking 4-year old to the car and still remain cheerful in my tone of voice.
  6. I really don't care if they refuse to eat dinner one night. They're not going to starve. I just mentally make a note to be ready at breakfast.
  7. Poop, barf, spit, snot and other bodily fluids no longer gross me out. Bring on the nursing degree.
  8. My bed. MY. BED. NOT THEIRS.
  9. Cheapo notebooks are better coloring books than actual coloring books.
  10. Mothers are superheroes who believe that every single other mother is doing it better than they are.
Hug a mother today.

1 comment:

  1. (((hugs)))

    You totally forgot that the realization that you have to functionally corral and correct your children is far more important than getting revenge on them.

    Most of the time.