I really should be in bed.
I'm still sick. I'm on better meds now but I'm still recovering. All of the doctors tell you to push fluids and get as much rest as possible. That would be easy if I didn't have three young children.
Tomorrow I have to get up early, pack three different bags, take Ben to work, take Sophie to school, take Milly to my sister's and then try to get Gideon into the pediatrician.
Instead of going to sleep, I'm up thinking angry thoughts. Tired, weepy, frustrated, overwhelmed thoughts.
I will never be able to live up to everyone's expectations. I'm always going to disappoint someone. I have to be OK with that. I have to know that there is only One that will ever love me no matter what. I can never be too stupid, too needy, too wrong for God.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Please, God, let me believe this.