Missions

Me: "Lord, there's a lot of talk at church about missions. I don't feel like I get to participate much."

God: "Oh? I've given you a specific mission. What do you mean?"

Me: "What do I mean? What do You mean? I haven't felt any tugs to go to China or Jordan or the wilds of Borneo. What am I doing to bring Your word to those that are lost? Don't you want to use me?"

God: "Honey, get up and go back to Sophie's room."

Me: "Um...OK."

*Cue me walking back to see a wild-haired Sophie chasing after her brother squealing at the top of their lungs both of them waving harmless looking toys they have learned to weaponize.*

God: "Here is your mission field."

Me: "I guess it is similar to the wilds of Borneo."

God: "Now pick up that Noah book and give it a shot."

Me: "Hey guys! Want to hear about Noah?"

Natives: *stop dead in their tracks and drop toys* "No-No? Too-ba-too? OHKAY!"

Then we read about Noah 5 times in a row.