Look, my life revolves around my family. I'm in charge of finances, doctor appointments, laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. I make sure that every day my family has clean clothes and food on the table. I make sure that everyone is going to the doctor to get their shots. I'm the one who knows exactly when each of my children last pooped and I can usually estimate when the next load will drop. I research recipes, track down deals, go shopping, cook the food, serve the food and clean the dishes. I'm the one that notices when shoes get too small and I'm the one who replaces them.
Since we have just one car that my husband takes to work 6 days a week, I am left at home with three kids under three. Alone. 6 days a week for at least 5-12 hours a day. Since my husband works outside of the home, I am the one that gets up with the infant during the night. I have with every child. The first few weeks are excruciating and it's getting worse with each kid. I have no time to nap during the day so my sleep bank is always in the red. I have no way of taking them to a park to run off energy and I have no way of getting to play dates. We are hermetically sealed in this house for days at a time, emerging on Sundays for church.
My world has become very small. I don't know a lot about current events. I don't get to discuss the latest TV shows with coworkers. I don't get together with girlfriends to shop and lunch. Every other Tuesday I do attend a women's Bible study and I am grateful for this small break. However, I feel dull. Uninteresting. The biggest project I've been working on is a cookbook binder for all of my most used recipes. Yep. That's going to catch my husband's attention!
I dream of going back to school. I yearn for history classes and math tests. I want to take geography classes and Bible classes at the same time to better get an understanding of where big Biblical events took place. I want to come home and have my husband eagerly ask me what I did today and get to tell him about all of the fascinating things I'm learning.
Instead, I'll stay up with the infant tonight. I'll get the two older kids up tomorrow morning, make breakfast and turn on Play With Me Sesame. I'll ask the husband about how the projects at work are turning out. I'll do a few loads of laundry and make dinner. If I'm lucky then I'll shower.
I'll be a mom.
