Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Princess and the Pothole

Sophie likes to look around and comment on everything in the world while she rides in the car. We hear commentary like "Red light! Red light means stop!" and "Issa red octomagononon!"

I love it when she adds 19 extra syllables to her words. Cutest thing ever.

Whenever we go over a bump, no matter how small, Sophie asks the riders of the car "You OK? I'm OK!" Every single bump. Every single time. Sometimes we answer her and sometimes we just let her talk to herself.

Last week we got to go and visit my new niece and my beautiful sister-in-law. (Fine. And my brother.) It took about 45 minutes to get to the hospital. During about 15 minutes of that commute we went over some grooved pavement. This turned Sophie into the Micro Machines Man on crack.

"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"

There was no breath in between shrieks and answering her didn't stop the script. I turned on the Imagination Movers soundtrack but she just got louder.

"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"
"ARE YOU OK?! I'M OK!"

When the ground finally smoothed into regular pavement again and we were able to turn down the Movers, I glanced back at Sophie. She had been sitting rigidly upright in her seat and was frantically looking around to make sure that WE WERE ALL OK, DEAR LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY WORLD IT'S GONE ALL SHAKY. After it was all over, she just calmly sat back and began pointing out yellow trimangangles.

The twitch in my eye is almost gone.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Sophie Sings!



You learned how to sing the alphabet song. Mama is so proud of you, Sophie-Chan!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Laundry Fairy

Me: "Hon, could you put the delicates in the washer?"

Ben: "...delicates?"

Me: "Um...*pointing* that pile. Just put them in the washer on the delicate cycle."

Ben: "There's a delicate cycle?"

Me: "...you know, I'll just grab them."

Thursday, July 12, 2012

"TOP Men"

Yesterday was my vague and grownup post about parents of special needs kids. Today is my vent.

Sophie and Gideon have never been to Vacation Bible School because most start at 5 years old. When the church where they are going to MDO put out their VBS info and it said that they start at three, I began to do my usual scouring the info to see if this would work. It was from Sunday to Thursday at nights for 2 1/2 hours. Not too long but long enough to let them have fun but not get overtired. It was at a familiar place but they would go to different rooms letting them know that change is still OK. Gideon would go into the three year old room and not really participate with the Big Kids until the last night when they have a big closing doodah in the sanctuary. He would still do the crafts, get a shirt and learn the lessons. The children's director knows my kids and knows their limits. I felt comfortable.

Sign them up!

Everything went well until last night when Ben dropped them off. When he got to Gideon's room he was informed that Gideon was being moved down to the room with the volunteers babies. According to this woman, Gideon's room was not equipped to handle a child in diapers. Ben came back upset that Gideon was being held back. I got in the car and drove up to the church to find out more about what was going on.

Side note: Did you know that the Mazda 5 can reach 95 MPH?

I prayed that God would keep my temper in check and stormed into the church to see what had happened. The children's director was found and I explained that Gideon had been moved. She was confused at my explanation and had no idea that he had been moved. She said it didn't make sense. Another woman was walking by and heard us talking. It turns out that she was the one who had made the change. She was the associate pastor in charge of the children's ministries. She said that Gideon had been "messing in his pants" and had been moved to a room where there were people who were "trained to handle that kind of thing".

As if you need an advanced degree to clean poop off of my kid's marblesack.

After I was able to put a stop to the condescension and get a word in edgewise, I explained that if I had been told earlier that kids must be potty trained before attending VBS, I would not have brought my kids. Even my 4 year old has accidents. I told them that I had no intention of making more work for their volunteers and said that I would take my son home and he would not come for the last night since he was not a part of VBS.

I was reassured by the children's director that Gideon was still doing the same thing as the three year old group but was just in a room where more diapers were changed. (If that woman said "people TRAINED to handle that" one more time, there was going to be a situation.) That class would also be involved in the big closing doodah tonight and he was still learning the lessons. She took my point seriously and said that future VBS info would make it clear that three years olds attending would need to be potty trained.

I left with an apology and reassurance that Gideon was having fun and they loved having him there. I'm still going to leave the kids in the MDO program because I know that Gideon's teachers ADORE him. I felt like I was heard and was able to get them to see that the situation could have been handled better.

Now to go see how much one of those trained professionals go for so I can see how much I'm worth.



Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Just Say No

When you are the parent of a special needs child, no matter what the diagnosis or level of adaptation, you look at mainstream activities differently. You carefully check the rules for every Mother's Day Out and VBS to see if your child doesn't meet any of the criteria. You make a point to speak to the head of whatever program you like and let them know details about your child to see if they are able to handle what comes with your little darling. The best thing that you can hear is "Of course they can come!" What people don't realize is the second best phrase we can hear.

"I'm sorry. We can't accommodate your child's needs."

It sounds counter intuitive, but this is actually a good thing...as long as you tell us BEFORE we put down deposits, get our routine-loving children into going somewhere new and make time in our already packed schedules for another possible socialization-skills-building activity.

If you work with kids at a church or other location, please understand how important it is to us as parents to hear that you understand our childrens' extra needs. Just because a child is three does not mean that he talks or is potty trained. A four year old might become agitated if Mama does not leave quickly enough because school is for teachers and home is for Mamas in her mind. If we give you a label for our children and you don't fully understand what they need then ASK QUESTIONS. Tell us no. We've heard "no" before and we're OK with hearing it again.