Omnicient

While walking out after dropping my kids off at MDO, I passed a group of kids lining up for chapel. I heard two boys whisper;

"She has big boobies!"

Without turning around I said;

"I heard that and so did Jesus!"

I hope their worship is adjusted accordingly.

Three

My Dear Little Prince,

Three years and 8ish months ago, I took a test telling me that we were going to have another baby. Over the next week, I became convinced that I was going to have a boy. Your father kept neutral and said that we had a 50/50 chance.

I was sure it was you.

Around 20 weeks we went for the ultrasound to see if we could find out if you were healthy and showy enough to let us know to reuse Sophie's pink blankets or follow traditional gender roles and buy something with baseballs. The tech swirled the wand on my belly and you greeted us with a pressed ham.

"We are either having a boy or a child with three legs." I announced.

You decided to follow in your sister's footsteps and come at 34 weeks. You added your own flair by not breaking my water, cutting the labor in half - thank you for that - and gasping like a fish out of water in my arms. I had enough time to register abject fear at your blue lips and kiss your head before you were whisked away by the NICU team at 4:38 PM. Around 9:00, your father and I made our way down to the NICU and found you strapped into this lovely little headset. I asked if I could hold you and a nurse gently told me that it probably wasn't a good idea at the time. They were having problems balancing your CPAP machine and the IV in your head and they didn't want you jiggled about. We stayed and stared at you for an hour before taking me back to my room. I was sharing my room with another woman who sat in her bed breastfeeding her chubby little boy. Your daddy couldn't stay with me since it was a shared room. When he left, I laid in my bed burning with fever and shaking with quiet tears as I listened to the baby sounds on the other side of the curtain. Your sister's NICU had been just down the hallway. In this hospital, you had to go down a hallway to the elevators, go down a floor, go through a lobby, another hallway, get onto another elevator and go up two floors before getting to the NICU.

People may call you a Mama's Boy. I prefer to think that I just worked my butt off for you and now I'm very grateful. You learned quickly and came home to us. You have been glued to my side ever since that day. You are my cuddliest child. You hold my hand whenever possible, even if we're just sitting on the couch.

As I write this, you are right by my side with your head on my shoulder. You went to Mothers Day Out today with cupcakes for the classroom. You don't cry when I drop you off. You simply trot inside and come back when I call you so that I can get a kiss. Your teachers are completely enamored with you. (Who wouldn't be?!) We have some hurdles to jump this year but Mama is going to be right here. I'll hold your hand the whole time.

Love,
Mama

Monday Brain Dribbles

Ben left yesterday for Austin. He'll be back on Friday. It's just me and the monsters this week. They have "school" on Tuesday and Thursday so it's not all bad. I will get a break.

I just spelled that as "I will get a bread." Apparently, I'm a vegetarian cat.

Sophie slept in my bed last night. She and Gideon share a room and take HOURS to fall asleep while they talk, sing and throw things at each other. I went in an hour after their bedtime and they were both poopy. I changed them and noticed that Sophie was swaying with sleepiness. I asked her if she would rather sleep in my bed.

"OK!" Followed by gathering all gazillion stuffed animals and then laying diagonally across my bed.

I followed a few hours later after watching Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. VERY good. Stephen Fry is blessedly wonderful as Mycroft. I've loved all things Sherlock - aside, it is impossible for me to say that in anything other than Alan Cummings' voice  - since high school. The RDJ versions are wonderful as are the Benedict Cumberbatch. The new show Elementary?

NO. BAD.

Anyhoo...I came to bed, cleaned out the stuffed animals and shoved my darling limp rag doll daughter over to her side of the bed. At 3:30 AM, I woke up to Sophie blindly crawling around the bed until she curled up at my feet. I'm pretty sure she was still asleep. I coaxed her up to the pillows again where she grabbed the comforter and covered her head.

Then I was awakened by my dearest tap-tap-tap-tap-tapping my forehead at 6:30 AM. With her face about 2 centimeters away from mine.

I shoved my iPhone at her and got another hour of sleep. Go, technology.

I got everyone up and realized that we were out of milk. So, we all went to Kroger in our pajamas and bedhead. I was That Woman and I so didn't care. I needed Dr Pepper and sinus medicine too badly.

We're all still in our jammies. Milly and I have nose issues. We're going to take it easy today.

You have yourself a good day, too.

Half Time!

Sophie is starting to take an interest in how she looks. Whenever I fix her hair, she runs for the bathroom mirror to preen and look at how beautiful she is. I found a pair of knock-off Crocs in purple and she wears them at every possible moment. (Including trying to get them into the bathtub. ) She also has a pair of neon green Converse that make her little heart go pitter pat. Her latest fashion statement are her tutus. She has a yellow one and a purple one. (Purple is her favorite color.)

Today was Royalty Day at Mother's Day Out. I sat down last night and tried desperately to make Sophie a shiny crown to wear. She actually showed a lot of enthusiasm at my ham-handed attempt at craftiness and wore it to school today.

Pink shirt, purple tutu, yellow glitter socks, neon green shoes, tinfoil crown.

She's beautiful, my precious Firstborn. However...as I gaze at this picture...I can only think of one thing...

Yep. That's my girl.

Walled In

Gideon wanders around the room with a Power Ranger. He stops to make the toy bounce around a table and the baby gate. He babbles to himself; sometimes loudly and sometimes very quietly. Sometimes I can understand a few words or the tune to a song. He'll wander over to where I'm sitting and climb up beside me. He snuggles next to my arm and keeps talking to his Power Ranger. He always sits as close as he can to me.

Tonight, as I dressed him for bed, I had to chase him a little and then wrangle him to the ground. I got his diaper changed and put his clothes on. I was able to get him to say "shirt". Kinda. After we said our family prayers, he was sent to me for kisses. He kissed me soundly and I grabbed him up to snuggle and tickle him. After he finished giggling, I sat him in front of me.

"I love you. Can you say 'I love you', Gideon?"

Nothing. He can't even look me in the eyes. He just looks around the room. No more babbling. Just wandering eyes.

"Gideon? *tap my chin twice* Can you say 'I love you'?"

Still looking around.

"Baby, can you say 'Mama'?"

He briefly meets my eyes and grins. So I just gather him up and kiss him again. I put him to bed and tell him I love him.

I don't know what my little boy dreams. I don't know what he thinks about. He doesn't tell me what he wants to eat and drink so I have to guess. He's not potty trained because every time I've tried to teach him he just repeats the words while smiling. He intently watches Play With Me Sesame, Imagination Movers and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. He knows most of the episodes and has started to parrot them back.

Ben and I talked about Gideon yesterday. We talked about what we're missing. We don't get to hear little boy descriptions of anything. We play cars, Legos and blocks with Gideon but he gets distracted fast and will wander off. If the teachers at his various schools didn't tell us what happened during the day then we would have no idea if he had a good or bad day.

This is not to say that he won't learn. Better days are coming. Through speech and behavior therapy combined with time, he'll be able to communicate with us.

I still can't help but look at my little man as he sits playing with his toys and wonder what I'm missing.

Exposed

For as long as I can remember, my dreams have had two things in common;

• I am naked.
• I am at school or work.

Any armchair psychologists want to take a crack at this?

Slippery Slope

While the kids napped yesterday, NAPPED!, I quickly cleaned up around the house. I scrubbed out the back fridge and swapped out some laundry. Then I decided to give the kids some kiddie pool time when they got up. We've had some storms lately so I honestly had no idea where the kiddie pool had ended up in the backyard. I went outside with visions of the pool draped across the roof like a Dali painting. I found it half-full of water behind the shed/wasp house. Braving the flying devils, I emptied and cleaned the pool. I set it closer to the house and left it to fill up while I collected toys, swim diapers, towels, sunscreen and suits.

By this time, the kids were up and hollering so I got everyone up. Sophie jumped out of bed in just a pull-up and immediately put on her purple croc knock-off sandals. I finally convinced the little nudist to let me put her swimsuit on. Her eyes lit up as she realized that watery goodness was nigh. Gideon just walked around in circles and babbled, as is his way. I put Milly on my hip and led everyone outside.

Look! Pool! Yay, fun!

...

Seriously, get in the pool.

So, I got in first while precariously holding a now very slippery Milly. Sophie delicately climbed in and began pouring water from cup to cup to cup to cup. Gideon came over and just looked at the water. I nabbed him when he got close enough and stood him in the water. I still couldn't get him to sit down. So he just wandered around and babbled while throwing toys like grenades.

Any time one of them got too splashy, I grabbed a bucket and doused them. They both thought this was great fun and were doused many times. That got me thinking...Sophie throws foundation-shattering fits when we pour a cup of water over her head in the bathtub. Out in the pool? Bring on the water! Maybe I could bathe her in the backyard! It's summer in Texas so it's warm enough. Then I started to take stock;

• non-running car in the front. not on blocks but...
• foil in the kids' windows. they need complete darkness to sleep.

I think bathing my kid in the backyard would complete the trashy trifecta. Next I'll find myself wearing American flag tank tops and standing barefoot on the stoop yelling at my kids to get out of the yard while holding Milly on my hip.

Of course, I already do that...

Maybe I can buy some blackout curtains and buy myself a little time.

Mama's Favorite Color Combo

Domesticating the Kids

Since Sophie was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, I've been reading and researching every day. I'm always on the lookout for ways to teach her and communicate. What can I do to improve her vocabulary? What games will be the best way to keep her entertained? Let's find more ways to socialize her so that she's surrounded by emotions and facial expressions.

She and her siblings are already attending Sunday School as often as we can. The Month of Sickness kept us from church for a while but we're back and the kids really enjoy their classes. We also send them to a local church for Mother's Day Out on Wednesdays and Fridays. It's there that Sophie made her first real friend. She remembers his name and tells me about their day. The teacher says that she and this little boy chase each other all day, every day. Her Daddy isn't wild about the fact that Sophie is already chasing boys but I just assume she's like her Mama. It was way more fun to play with the boys on the playground. And in the lunch room. And after school. Fine, I was somewhat boy-crazy but not in the romantic sense! (Although, I did fine in that area.)

We've also found another church running a summer camp/MDO program. This one is on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Sophie's class will be taught by a PPCD teacher. I'm eager to see what she thinks Sophie's next step should be. I would really like some direction for what to do next. Should Sophie start public school? Would a Montessori school be more engaging? Would a private school have the resources she needs? Do we need to do more therapy before enrolling Sophie into school?

Another way to structure Sophie's day is to introduce her to domestic tasks. She's now learned the whole laundry process. She can sort clothes, load the laundry baskets, load clothes into the washer, unload the dryer and hang up her shirts. I talk to her every time about what we're doing, showing her how our clothes get dirty when we wear them and how they get clean and back into our drawers and closets. I'm going to make a social story so that she can see the process.

What is a social story? The way I see it, it's a piece of paper or set of cards with pictures and a simple story telling what happens in a situation from real life. You take the kiddos through the whole process of something, like doing the laundry, to help them understand how to do the individual steps and why they should be done. Routine is a HUGE deal for Sophie. These social stories will help her patiently go though new situations so that she won't get anxious about something she's never encountered.

Today, Sophie is helping with the laundry. She's broken chocolate chip cookies apart and put them on the baking sheet. She's carried dishes to the sink. Domestic chores are good for spectrum kids because it's the same routine every time. It puts order into their lives which is soothing to Sophie's little mind.

It also gets Mama moving to keep up with the laundry.

Mama's Tough but Fun

Taco Soup

Tonight I made taco soup. That sounds simple but I actually had to make quite a few tweaks and adaptations to make it acceptable to my family. I started with Paula Deen's recipe and began fiddling. I ended up with two soups.

Beef Taco Soup

The Stuff:
1 lb ground beef, browned and drained
1 15 oz can mexican stewed tomatoes
1 15 oz can diced tomatoes with sweet onions
1 10 oz can rotel
1 15 oz can ranch style beans
1 15 oz can corn kernels, drained
1 package of taco seasoning
1 package of ranch salad dressing mix

The Process:
Dump everything into a big stockpot and simmer for about an hour. Put crushed tortilla chips and shredded fiesta cheese in a bowl and ladle your soup over. I topped mine with guacamole.

Chicken Taco Soup

The Stuff:
1 lb chicken breast, roasted and shredded

1 15 oz can mexican stewed tomatoes
1 15 oz can diced tomatoes with sweet onions
1 10 oz can rotel
1 15 oz can ranch style beans
1 package of taco seasoning
1 package of ranch salad dressing mix

The Process:
Dump everything into a big stockpot and simmer for about an hour. Put crushed tortilla chips and shredded fiesta cheese in a bowl and ladle your soup over. Basically, I just switched the beef for chicken and eliminated the corn. Ben put sour cream on top because he doesn't like corn or guacamole and he's weird.

Sophie ate half a bowl. Milly ate two bowls and I had trouble snapping her pajamas. Gideon ate chips because he's annoying.

My Babies

We're all still in our pajamas at 12:30 in the afternoon.

There has been so much snuggling, kisses, zerbets and tickling. Or, as Sophie calls it, "chickles".

Milly's curls look like they're made out of cotton candy and they still smell like her lavender baby wash. She smiles around her little thumb in her mouth while she tucks her head under my chin and her body under my arm. She coughs and wails in a scratchy voice because she has her first case of strep throat. Then she burrows onto my shoulder because it's the only place where she feels comforted.

Gideon's giant brown eyes twinkle as he imitates the genie's magic-wish-granting dance on Imagination Movers. He's talking so much more. Yesterday he drank an apple juice box with my help. He knew he that if he squeezed the box then it would go everywhere so I held it. His big eyes crossed as he concentrated on the straw and his grubby little fingers clutched my hand.

Sophie is so used to the potty that she doesn't make a fuss at all. She turns on the overhead fan and takes toys to her siblings. She wants to help with everything so badly and she's very capable. She loves having a task to do. Her favorite is the laundry. She loves filling the washer all by herself.

We're all a little weak from the sickness that has plagued us for weeks. Milly is still the worst. We still take antibiotics every morning and night and there is still coughing. Milly gets a little pain medicine before she lays down to take a nap with her Reveille Pillow Pet. I watch Gideon warily to make sure that the coughing doesn't turn into wheezing. Sophie's eyebrow is almost totally healed and I don't think she'll scar.

Being a mother is so much work. It's a job that lasts 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. There is no sick time or vacation time. There are nights that I fall into bed exhausted at the thought of 3 very energetic kids starting early the next morning. There are times where I long for a day with no one touching me.

I really cannot wait for the day where I never change another poopy diaper.

Today, I feel blessed. I have three incredible children that fill my heart to bursting. I want to remember these moments when they are taller than me, far away from me and I'm not in charge of kissing their hurts.

Today, I will zerbet because I can. I will delight in baby girl curls, little boy gibberish and little girl help. I will let kiddo laughter fill my heart.

Blessings in Trials

Last Friday, the two oldest kids were diagnosed with strep.

On Monday, the baby started running a fever.

On Tuesday, Sophie fell while climbing the chair and hit her head on the doorknob. After 3 hours in the ER, she came home with her eyebrow glued back together.

On Wednesday, Gideon started coughing so hard he was choking. We went to the pediatrician who said that seasonal allergies were making his asthma worse. He's now taking a low dose of steroids and 2 inhalers 4 times a day.

The house is a wreck. I have a deep chest cough that's connected to seasonal allergies and my sinus infection leaving my body. I was up with Gideon at 4 AM last night while he and I coughed.

We're still blessed.

Right now, my children are in bed. They are all napping soundly. Modern appliances are cleaning my clothes and my dishes. I have bags of chicken marinating in the fridge and freezer ready to be turned into easy meals over the next few weeks. I have the Internet to connect me to friends I rarely get to see and some that I have never met. I have a bazillion TV channels, a DVR, Netflix, library books and my Kindle to entertain me.

Thank you, Lord, for blessing me beyond measure. Thank you for reminding me of these blessings even when things look dark.

Mama's Summer Look

In Sickness and in Health...

On Thursday, Sophie and Gideon both started running fevers. Sophie ran faster and got up to 103. Gideon sounded like he was going to cough up a lung. We drugged them and got them to sleep. My beloved mother came over on Friday when I woke up with a fever and sore throat, too. After two doctor appointments, the verdicts were in:

Sophie - Strep throat

Gideon - Strep throat, double ear infection

Mama - Sinus infection, seasonal allergies

Since Milly was not showing any signs of being sick, my mother whisked her away to Camp Grandparents where she would be plied with toys, food, individual cuddles and anything else her little heart desired. My parents are pretty much softies when it comes to their grandchildren. That child is going to come back as rotten as a black banana. BUT! She probably won't get sick.

Ben came home with all of our medicines and we started the rounds of sitting on chests and prying their mouths open to pour strawberry flavored caulk down their throats. I really should put sympathy cards in our neighbors' mailboxes after Gideon's fit that caused half of the shingles to come loose and fly through the windows.

I'm assuming that this strep came from them going back to Mother's Day Out. Anytime kids get social they always share something more than their toys.

It also made me giggle because I remembered my funniest strep story. I had strep all of the time when I was younger until my tonsils were voted out of the tribe when I was 19. When I was a senior in high school, I got strep at the beginning of the year. I started feeling sick at a school kick-off thing held in the cafeteria one evening. I was with the band sitting on the floor when I started feeling hot and dizzy. I suddenly didn't care what was on that disgusting floor and only cared that the tile was cool against my cheek. Things weren't getting better when it was time to go home. I drove my boyfriend, who said he was also feeling funny, in my mom's Chevy Lumina minivan. (I was just that cool.) I got home and mom took me to urgent care. They told us that my wimpy tonsils had once again given up against the strep bug. When I got home, I remembered that my boyfriend had been feeling gross too.

Yeah.

First I had to tell my mother that my boyfriend was sick with probably the same thing which meant basically telling her that I had been swapping spit with a boy. Then I had to call and tell him that I had strep and that's probably why his throat was closing up. Of course, his throat hurt so I talked to his mother instead. How do you call your boyfriend's mother and tell her that you know why her son is feeling sick because you're the diseased harlot that infected him? I tried to soften the blow by offering to bring ice cream. We were teased for WEEKS because we were both out sick at the same time with a disease that you can get from KISSING, OMG THEY WERE KISSING! Even the band directors gave us a hard time.

So now I look at my strep-diseased Sophie and wonder...just how close is that boy in her MDO class?

Orzo with Broccoli

I'm exhausted so I'm just going to post the recipe. Ben and I have had a long day of kids and sickness so I wanted to throw something quick together for dinner. I didn't want anything too heavy. Then I remembered that bag of orzo that I bought and hadn't yet used. I've never cooked orzo before so I looked at a few different recipes for ideas and then I just followed what I thought sounded good. This is what I came up with.

The Stuff

3/4 cup uncooked orzo
2 cups chicken broth
2 cups broccoli (I used half of a frozen bag.)
1 TBSP EVOO
1 tsp kosher salt
1 TBSP lemon pepper seasoning
1 TBSP dried dill weed
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese

The Process

Bring your chicken broth to a boil. Add the orzo and cook for about 7 minutes while stirring regularly. Drain in a colander once pasta is cooked and tender.

Put your EVOO in a skillet on medium heat and toss in the broccoli. Sprinkle your seasonings on top and stir. Cover the broccoli skillet so everything can saute and get soft. Once it's sauteed but still a little crisp, take out the broccoli and chop into little pieces.

Broccoli and orzo get tossed in a bowl. Throw the feta in with it while everything is still hot. Stir up the melty-cheesy goodness.

It's like a grown-up mac and cheese. I used Greek seasonings and cheese this time but you could also turn this into an Italian dish by adding Parmesan, asiago or fontina cheese. You could also use spinach, asparagus or any other green veggies that you like. I'm going to add my Greek shredded chicken next time to see if that bulks it up and makes it a good all-in-one lunch.

Next time you're at the store, pick up something you've never cooked before. You may try it and love it!

Kid Love

Sophie is looking at me from the floor. She's laying on her nap mat for quiet time. I hold up my hand in the "I love you" sign and say "I love you, Sophie!" She studies my hand and then looks at her hand. She pushes and pulls her fingers in different ways.

Then she holds her hand up to me, middle finger sticking proudly in the air, and says "I love you, Mama!"

Thank you, darling.

Naptime

Assemble!

Ben and I have been trying to be more deliberate about Date Nights. It's important to us to have time for each other. Since we don't have a regular babysitter and I don't want to kill my mother, we've found a few places that host a Parents Night Out.

Wylie UMC has one from 6-10 every second Friday night. FBC Richardson also has a once-a-month night. They are both reasonably priced and the people who work at both churches are wonderful. The kids have been having a good time playing with new people and other kids. We're hoping that it also starts peeling that separation anxiety away from Milly. (One can dream.)

So that usually gives us 4 hours for a date. We've picked Studio Movie Grill the last few times because we can have dinner and a movie all in one. No time wasted! It was even easier with the Richardson church because it's right down the highway.

On Friday, we dropped the monkeys off at FBC Richardson and went to see The Avengers.

HOT BUTTERED MOSES ON TOAST, THAT MOVIE IS AMAZING.

I'm going to do my best not to give anything away. Joss Whedon and Zak Penn bring together Earth's mightiest heroes in a clever and exciting way. It's not just about the eye candy, either. (Although I did want to slingshot my panties at the screen every time they showed Hawkeye.) Each actor is perfect in their role. Mark Ruffalo plays Bruce Banner as the quiet and somewhat jittery scientist who is trying so hard to be calm and focused on not letting "The Other Guy" take over. Robert Downey Jr. is the penultimate Tony Stark. He's great at showing the assured and wise-cracking front but can also show Tony's vulnerability when needed. Chris Hemsworth is godlike as Thor and I'm not just talking about his pecs. He's truly trying to do the right thing for his people and the Earth that he has taken to heart. Chris Evans is the out-of-his-time Captain America. He's polite but firm in his beliefs and is a leader who quietly takes his place. Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner play the Black Widow and Hawkeye. Both hint at their pasts and I'm ready to know more. They are both fiercely loyal to S.H.I.E.L.D. and Director Nick Fury, played perfectly by Samuel L. Jackson.

The writing has Whedon's mark all over it. It's clever and engaging. There were parts that had us doubled over in laughter and others that had the whole theater literally cheering. The action is all Penn. It's exciting without going too long and making you look at your watch saying "GET ON WITH IT!"

Wylie UMC is having their Parents Night Out this Friday. I don't think it will take too much convincing to get Ben to agree to another round with The Avengers.

May in Texas

...means pool time!