Walled In

Gideon wanders around the room with a Power Ranger. He stops to make the toy bounce around a table and the baby gate. He babbles to himself; sometimes loudly and sometimes very quietly. Sometimes I can understand a few words or the tune to a song. He'll wander over to where I'm sitting and climb up beside me. He snuggles next to my arm and keeps talking to his Power Ranger. He always sits as close as he can to me.

Tonight, as I dressed him for bed, I had to chase him a little and then wrangle him to the ground. I got his diaper changed and put his clothes on. I was able to get him to say "shirt". Kinda. After we said our family prayers, he was sent to me for kisses. He kissed me soundly and I grabbed him up to snuggle and tickle him. After he finished giggling, I sat him in front of me.

"I love you. Can you say 'I love you', Gideon?"

Nothing. He can't even look me in the eyes. He just looks around the room. No more babbling. Just wandering eyes.

"Gideon? *tap my chin twice* Can you say 'I love you'?"

Still looking around.

"Baby, can you say 'Mama'?"

He briefly meets my eyes and grins. So I just gather him up and kiss him again. I put him to bed and tell him I love him.

I don't know what my little boy dreams. I don't know what he thinks about. He doesn't tell me what he wants to eat and drink so I have to guess. He's not potty trained because every time I've tried to teach him he just repeats the words while smiling. He intently watches Play With Me Sesame, Imagination Movers and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. He knows most of the episodes and has started to parrot them back.

Ben and I talked about Gideon yesterday. We talked about what we're missing. We don't get to hear little boy descriptions of anything. We play cars, Legos and blocks with Gideon but he gets distracted fast and will wander off. If the teachers at his various schools didn't tell us what happened during the day then we would have no idea if he had a good or bad day.

This is not to say that he won't learn. Better days are coming. Through speech and behavior therapy combined with time, he'll be able to communicate with us.

I still can't help but look at my little man as he sits playing with his toys and wonder what I'm missing.

Exposed

For as long as I can remember, my dreams have had two things in common;

• I am naked.
• I am at school or work.

Any armchair psychologists want to take a crack at this?

Slippery Slope

While the kids napped yesterday, NAPPED!, I quickly cleaned up around the house. I scrubbed out the back fridge and swapped out some laundry. Then I decided to give the kids some kiddie pool time when they got up. We've had some storms lately so I honestly had no idea where the kiddie pool had ended up in the backyard. I went outside with visions of the pool draped across the roof like a Dali painting. I found it half-full of water behind the shed/wasp house. Braving the flying devils, I emptied and cleaned the pool. I set it closer to the house and left it to fill up while I collected toys, swim diapers, towels, sunscreen and suits.

By this time, the kids were up and hollering so I got everyone up. Sophie jumped out of bed in just a pull-up and immediately put on her purple croc knock-off sandals. I finally convinced the little nudist to let me put her swimsuit on. Her eyes lit up as she realized that watery goodness was nigh. Gideon just walked around in circles and babbled, as is his way. I put Milly on my hip and led everyone outside.

Look! Pool! Yay, fun!

...

Seriously, get in the pool.

So, I got in first while precariously holding a now very slippery Milly. Sophie delicately climbed in and began pouring water from cup to cup to cup to cup. Gideon came over and just looked at the water. I nabbed him when he got close enough and stood him in the water. I still couldn't get him to sit down. So he just wandered around and babbled while throwing toys like grenades.

Any time one of them got too splashy, I grabbed a bucket and doused them. They both thought this was great fun and were doused many times. That got me thinking...Sophie throws foundation-shattering fits when we pour a cup of water over her head in the bathtub. Out in the pool? Bring on the water! Maybe I could bathe her in the backyard! It's summer in Texas so it's warm enough. Then I started to take stock;

• non-running car in the front. not on blocks but...
• foil in the kids' windows. they need complete darkness to sleep.

I think bathing my kid in the backyard would complete the trashy trifecta. Next I'll find myself wearing American flag tank tops and standing barefoot on the stoop yelling at my kids to get out of the yard while holding Milly on my hip.

Of course, I already do that...

Maybe I can buy some blackout curtains and buy myself a little time.

Mama's Favorite Color Combo

Domesticating the Kids

Since Sophie was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, I've been reading and researching every day. I'm always on the lookout for ways to teach her and communicate. What can I do to improve her vocabulary? What games will be the best way to keep her entertained? Let's find more ways to socialize her so that she's surrounded by emotions and facial expressions.

She and her siblings are already attending Sunday School as often as we can. The Month of Sickness kept us from church for a while but we're back and the kids really enjoy their classes. We also send them to a local church for Mother's Day Out on Wednesdays and Fridays. It's there that Sophie made her first real friend. She remembers his name and tells me about their day. The teacher says that she and this little boy chase each other all day, every day. Her Daddy isn't wild about the fact that Sophie is already chasing boys but I just assume she's like her Mama. It was way more fun to play with the boys on the playground. And in the lunch room. And after school. Fine, I was somewhat boy-crazy but not in the romantic sense! (Although, I did fine in that area.)

We've also found another church running a summer camp/MDO program. This one is on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Sophie's class will be taught by a PPCD teacher. I'm eager to see what she thinks Sophie's next step should be. I would really like some direction for what to do next. Should Sophie start public school? Would a Montessori school be more engaging? Would a private school have the resources she needs? Do we need to do more therapy before enrolling Sophie into school?

Another way to structure Sophie's day is to introduce her to domestic tasks. She's now learned the whole laundry process. She can sort clothes, load the laundry baskets, load clothes into the washer, unload the dryer and hang up her shirts. I talk to her every time about what we're doing, showing her how our clothes get dirty when we wear them and how they get clean and back into our drawers and closets. I'm going to make a social story so that she can see the process.

What is a social story? The way I see it, it's a piece of paper or set of cards with pictures and a simple story telling what happens in a situation from real life. You take the kiddos through the whole process of something, like doing the laundry, to help them understand how to do the individual steps and why they should be done. Routine is a HUGE deal for Sophie. These social stories will help her patiently go though new situations so that she won't get anxious about something she's never encountered.

Today, Sophie is helping with the laundry. She's broken chocolate chip cookies apart and put them on the baking sheet. She's carried dishes to the sink. Domestic chores are good for spectrum kids because it's the same routine every time. It puts order into their lives which is soothing to Sophie's little mind.

It also gets Mama moving to keep up with the laundry.

Mama's Tough but Fun

Taco Soup

Tonight I made taco soup. That sounds simple but I actually had to make quite a few tweaks and adaptations to make it acceptable to my family. I started with Paula Deen's recipe and began fiddling. I ended up with two soups.

Beef Taco Soup

The Stuff:
1 lb ground beef, browned and drained
1 15 oz can mexican stewed tomatoes
1 15 oz can diced tomatoes with sweet onions
1 10 oz can rotel
1 15 oz can ranch style beans
1 15 oz can corn kernels, drained
1 package of taco seasoning
1 package of ranch salad dressing mix

The Process:
Dump everything into a big stockpot and simmer for about an hour. Put crushed tortilla chips and shredded fiesta cheese in a bowl and ladle your soup over. I topped mine with guacamole.

Chicken Taco Soup

The Stuff:
1 lb chicken breast, roasted and shredded

1 15 oz can mexican stewed tomatoes
1 15 oz can diced tomatoes with sweet onions
1 10 oz can rotel
1 15 oz can ranch style beans
1 package of taco seasoning
1 package of ranch salad dressing mix

The Process:
Dump everything into a big stockpot and simmer for about an hour. Put crushed tortilla chips and shredded fiesta cheese in a bowl and ladle your soup over. Basically, I just switched the beef for chicken and eliminated the corn. Ben put sour cream on top because he doesn't like corn or guacamole and he's weird.

Sophie ate half a bowl. Milly ate two bowls and I had trouble snapping her pajamas. Gideon ate chips because he's annoying.