Mama Has a Flashback

Mama Feels Preppy

Dear Children...

Dear Eldest,

Yes. That's Grover. IT'S ALWAYS GROVER. Please stop telling Mommy. Mommy's ears are tired.
In other news, poop goes in the potty. Not your panties. QUIT IT.

Love,
Earless Mommy

Dear Boy Child,

Stop stuffing HANDFULS of Goldfish in your mouth. That is why you choke. Also, naptime is from 1-3. Plan accordingly. I don't care if you fall asleep at 2:50; I'm getting you up at 3:00.

Love,
Nap Nazi Mommy

Dear Sunshine Littles,

If you are done with your food, please simply wave your hands in the air. (Whether you care or not.) Do not attempt to decorate the floor within a 2 foot radius with your leftovers. It makes spaghetti night even more annoying.

Love,
Grateful-You're-Cute Mommy

p.s. Butt cream helps your butt. Please stop eating it.

Mama's Cinco de Mayo

Mama's Having Some Fun

Hold Me

I tried watching eye makeup tutorials on You Tube last night. I want to get more involved in my makeup routine of "moisturize-powder-lipstick-done".

After watching 4 middle school girls show me how to correctly apply Urban Decay Primer (what the?!) and then mix 19 different colors from a giant train case with 5 different brushes, I got scared and hid under my comforter with Zero Punctuation videos.

I'm sorry, Erin. I tried.

Mama Says "Hey Sailor!"