Monday Brain Dump

Last night I was lying in bed and listening to my husband snore. He has a really bad cold. I thought of something really funny about the kids for my blog but now I can't remember it because I was up all night. You'll just have to trust me. It was really funny. I'm going to have to get a notebook to keep by the side of the bed for when inspiration hits.

All of the kids have the cold, too. Gideon is the worst. I had to give him saline and his inhaler this morning. He's not too wild about me at the moment. He also had his first seasonal bloody nose on Friday night. Saturday morning scared his Daddy. It looks like Gideon is going to have some rough allergy seasons.

Milly has been waking up in the middle of the night with a grumbly tummy. A bottle of milk usually sets her to right and she'll go back to sleep. She's also eating a lot at meals. I think we've hit a growth spurt and I'm considering hanging a hamster bottle to her crib. I'm watching her stalk her siblings now. Whenever they sit their sippy cups down, she grabs them and drinks as fast as she can. Little thief.

I like cheesy monster movies. I stayed up last night watching Underworld. I loved Van Helsing. The Blade trilogy is one of my must-sees. Constantine was even pretty decent and I'm a fan of the comic books. (The books are better.) I think I'm going to try Resident Evil.

SPILL RESISTANT SNACK CUPS, MY SHINY CELLULITE MARKED BUTT.

Gideon is saying words now. He'll repeat me on some things and others are spontaneous. I'm realizing that the selective muteism may not be spectrum-related but may just be his personality. He doesn't like to be the center of attention. He won't speak when his loudmouth sister is talking for him. Yesterday, he sat by me and quietly recited the whole alphabet. He started it himself and grinned at me as if to say "Are you hearing this?"

Yes, baby. I heard every letter.

Mama's Walking on the Wild Side

10 Things I Have Learned in 4 Years of Motherhood

1. If I rip the delicate little tab off then I will reach for packing tape instead of another diaper.
2. I can tell you which of my kids has soiled themselves just by the smell.
3. I can walk down 3 grocery store aisles with my daughter hanging from my shirt, bringing the neckline down to my navel, and not notice a thing.
4. Bubble baths are sacred.
5. I can carry a boneless and shrieking 4-year old to the car and still remain cheerful in my tone of voice.
6. I really don't care if they refuse to eat dinner one night. They're not going to starve. I just mentally make a note to be ready at breakfast.
7. Poop, barf, spit, snot and other bodily fluids no longer gross me out. Bring on the nursing degree.
8. My bed. MY. BED. NOT THEIRS.
9. Cheapo notebooks are better coloring books than actual coloring books.
10. Mothers are superheroes who believe that every single other mother is doing it better than they are.

Hug a mother today.

Mama Makes Menswear Feminine

Mama Feels Bright

Girly Things

Usually I boast about how, even though I have prominent girl-parts, I eschew the usual girly parts of life. A small list:

• makeup involving more than Bare Minerals and mascara
• angst-ridden drama TV like Grey's Anatomy
• reality TV like the Real Wives of NY or LA or Windsor or whoever is popular
• gossip magazines or websites like Perez Hilton

and the biggie...

• chick flicks

I like action, sci-fi and fantasy movies. Give me a good blow-em-up. I want to see superheros and underdogs. I want car chases or - even better - space battles.

However...I will make a confession here today. I have guilty pleasures. There are 5 main chick flicks that I honestly enjoy. Instead of hanging my head in shame, I will share them with you.

1) Just Like Heaven

Reese Witherspoon is a doctor. Mark Ruffalo is recovering from losing his wife. Reese gets in an accident and becomes a ghost haunting her apartment that Mark is now renting while he wallows in grief.

Wacky hijinks ensue.












2) Sweet Home Alabama

Reese Witherspoon (yes, again) is a Type-A clothing designer trying to make it big in the Big City. Her beautiful and incredibly well-bred boyfriend, Patrick Dempsey, proposes. She says yes but has to leave without explanation. She goes back home.

Because she's still married to the also beautiful Josh Lucas. And she's secretly from ALABAMA. She's a hick, y'all!

The hijinks. They ensue.









3) Life as We Know It

Boy (Josh Duhamel) meets Girl (Katherine Heigl) on a blind date set up by Besty McBesterfriends.

Boy: "You're too uptight and you don't like my rumpled hotness!"
Girl: "Don't make booty calls and get out of my Smart Car!"
Both: "Don't ever make us see each other again, Besty McBesterfriends!"

Cue the montage where Boy and Girl see each other all of the time because of Besty McBesterfriends. Baby is introduced and Boy and Girl both love her.

Besty McBesterfriends are lost and it is sad. Then Boy and Girl find out that they left the Baby for both of them to raise.

Here come the hijinks.


4) Moulin Rouge!

*sigh*

This one, I don't feel that guilty. The music is amazing. Ewan McGregor is tasty. Nicole Kidman can SANG. The sets, the costumes, the songs...

Even John Leguizamo can't mess this one up.

These hijinks are dramatic and sweeping.









5) Steel Magnolias

This is my favorite movie of all time. I saw it for the first time when I was in 6th grade. (Thank you, Melissa!) The cast is amazing. The writing is perfect. The story makes me laugh and cry every single time. I cannot wait to watch this with my daughters.

The best part? The quotes:

"It's got gray icing, I can't even begin to think how you make gray icing"

"I'd recognize this penmanship anywhere. You have the handwritin' of a serial killer."

"I don't like her. I don't trust anyone who does their own hair. I don't think it's natural."

"This is in the freezes beautifully section of my cookbook, and I wanted to bring something that freezes beautifully"

So there you have it. I have confessed!

(links and images from Wikipedia)

Insomnia

I'm not asleep.

I'm up and obsessing.

There's just too much in my brain.

What needs to be done to make this house habitable?
What does Sophie need next?
Does the pediatrician have all of the shot records for all of the kids?
Where does Gideon need to go first to be evaluated?
Did I put my delicates in the dryer?
How in the world am I going to do all of this house stuff by myself?
Why did I eat so many Reese's Eggs?
Should I feel bad for not taking the kids to an Easter Egg hunt?
The kids hate candy and crowds so why am I beating myself up?
Seriously, where are my delicates?
How clean does my house need to be before I can call in a maid service?
How do I get rid of those ants in the front yard?
How am I supposed to get myself to the doctor with three kids in tow?
Is there an eye doctor able to see my weirdo kids?
Is it really 2 AM?
Would anyone notice if I went to go get cigarettes?
How many lists can one person make in one night?

On and on and on and on...

I hate depression.
I hate anxiety.

I hate this.