Girly Things

Usually I boast about how, even though I have prominent girl-parts, I eschew the usual girly parts of life. A small list:

• makeup involving more than Bare Minerals and mascara
• angst-ridden drama TV like Grey's Anatomy
• reality TV like the Real Wives of NY or LA or Windsor or whoever is popular
• gossip magazines or websites like Perez Hilton

and the biggie...

• chick flicks

I like action, sci-fi and fantasy movies. Give me a good blow-em-up. I want to see superheros and underdogs. I want car chases or - even better - space battles.

However...I will make a confession here today. I have guilty pleasures. There are 5 main chick flicks that I honestly enjoy. Instead of hanging my head in shame, I will share them with you.

1) Just Like Heaven

Reese Witherspoon is a doctor. Mark Ruffalo is recovering from losing his wife. Reese gets in an accident and becomes a ghost haunting her apartment that Mark is now renting while he wallows in grief.

Wacky hijinks ensue.












2) Sweet Home Alabama

Reese Witherspoon (yes, again) is a Type-A clothing designer trying to make it big in the Big City. Her beautiful and incredibly well-bred boyfriend, Patrick Dempsey, proposes. She says yes but has to leave without explanation. She goes back home.

Because she's still married to the also beautiful Josh Lucas. And she's secretly from ALABAMA. She's a hick, y'all!

The hijinks. They ensue.









3) Life as We Know It

Boy (Josh Duhamel) meets Girl (Katherine Heigl) on a blind date set up by Besty McBesterfriends.

Boy: "You're too uptight and you don't like my rumpled hotness!"
Girl: "Don't make booty calls and get out of my Smart Car!"
Both: "Don't ever make us see each other again, Besty McBesterfriends!"

Cue the montage where Boy and Girl see each other all of the time because of Besty McBesterfriends. Baby is introduced and Boy and Girl both love her.

Besty McBesterfriends are lost and it is sad. Then Boy and Girl find out that they left the Baby for both of them to raise.

Here come the hijinks.


4) Moulin Rouge!

*sigh*

This one, I don't feel that guilty. The music is amazing. Ewan McGregor is tasty. Nicole Kidman can SANG. The sets, the costumes, the songs...

Even John Leguizamo can't mess this one up.

These hijinks are dramatic and sweeping.









5) Steel Magnolias

This is my favorite movie of all time. I saw it for the first time when I was in 6th grade. (Thank you, Melissa!) The cast is amazing. The writing is perfect. The story makes me laugh and cry every single time. I cannot wait to watch this with my daughters.

The best part? The quotes:

"It's got gray icing, I can't even begin to think how you make gray icing"

"I'd recognize this penmanship anywhere. You have the handwritin' of a serial killer."

"I don't like her. I don't trust anyone who does their own hair. I don't think it's natural."

"This is in the freezes beautifully section of my cookbook, and I wanted to bring something that freezes beautifully"

So there you have it. I have confessed!

(links and images from Wikipedia)

Insomnia

I'm not asleep.

I'm up and obsessing.

There's just too much in my brain.

What needs to be done to make this house habitable?
What does Sophie need next?
Does the pediatrician have all of the shot records for all of the kids?
Where does Gideon need to go first to be evaluated?
Did I put my delicates in the dryer?
How in the world am I going to do all of this house stuff by myself?
Why did I eat so many Reese's Eggs?
Should I feel bad for not taking the kids to an Easter Egg hunt?
The kids hate candy and crowds so why am I beating myself up?
Seriously, where are my delicates?
How clean does my house need to be before I can call in a maid service?
How do I get rid of those ants in the front yard?
How am I supposed to get myself to the doctor with three kids in tow?
Is there an eye doctor able to see my weirdo kids?
Is it really 2 AM?
Would anyone notice if I went to go get cigarettes?
How many lists can one person make in one night?

On and on and on and on...

I hate depression.
I hate anxiety.

I hate this.

Wednesday Whine

You don't have to read it. Just let me get it out.

Yesterday, DFW was hit with a dozen tornadoes. I am so not exaggerating. I spent two hours in the small bathroom surrounded by toys, snacks, pillows and blankets with my three kids.

Going to the mattresses means something different in Texas.

That was two hours of telling the kids that NO we can't go watch Mickey and please sit down and how about we watch something on Mama's computer and PLEASE STOP KICKING EACH OTHER.

After about 30 minutes, I was ready for the tornado to take us. Praise God for wireless internet, laptops and You Tube.

Today we're all cranky and discombobulated. We can't go outside to hit their reset buttons. It's way too muddy and there are ants everywhere. Sophie took one look and said "No. Icky." Gideon headed straight for the biggest puddle of mud he could find until I yanked him back.

My head is killing me. Snot from Mars is trying to suffocate me along with the Texas pollen that was kicked up yesterday.

Milly isn't happy unless she is hunting down another basket of toys to upend and scatter to the four winds. Actually, all of the kids just want the toys spread in a fine layer on the living room floor. They don't really want to play with them. I guess they just want to see every single one.

If I step on that stupid giraffe Little People toy again then it's going to the moon.

I feel terrible complaining when we have it so easy. People lost homes, cars and were severely injured yesterday. My family is safe. The house is fine.

I just don't feel good and the kids are running me ragged. Sorry for the whine.

Judged

Today was grocery day. I loaded Gideon and Sophie into the car and we headed to the WalMarts. They needed to get out of the house. I wanted Sophie's opinion on what to get. She can actually voice her wants and preferences now!

We're walking down the aisles; Gideon is in the seat of the cart and Sophie is next to me. Sophie is gleefully pointing at things she recognizes and calling out the names. She repeats things often and wants me to repeat them, too. I keep her out of the way of other shoppers as best I can but she's 4 and she's fast. She listens well, though, and comes back to me every single time I call her name. I have to call it a lot.

Gideon is DONE WITH THIS about halfway through the aisles. He starts whining and hitting at me. I know this behavior. He just wants to be held.

Aside: We're almost certain that Gideon is going to test somewhere on the spectrum. He only shows two feelings; happiness and frustration. The rest of the time, he is a blank slate. He lines up toys and builds sculptures that no 2-year old should be able to see. He is almost perfectly mute except for a few repetitive speeches from TV and songs. I can already see stimming when he gets upset. The only thing that is different is that he seems to crave rather than shy away from physical touch. It MUST be from me, though. I have to hold him a certain way when he gets upset. I have to speak to him or sing his lullabye.

I stop our cart, make sure Sophie is holding onto the side and looking at the cracker selection and reach down to hug Gideon. I speak softly to him and we count to ten. He perks up a little and we go on our way. It's then that I see a young woman giving me a horribly dirty look. She walks away with a young man while muttering something about "spoiled brats".

Really.

I desperately wanted to turn around and say something witty, scathing and educational to this woman. I wanted to yell at her that we were actually having a very good day. I wanted to tell her about all of the leaps that Sophie had done over the last month. I wanted to tell her why she was so very wrong about my children.

Instead, I turned around and asked Sophie whether she wanted Cheez-Its or Goldfish. She wanted Goldfish. The color ones.

That woman was ignorant. She has no idea what my family struggles with every single day. She chose to make a snap decision based on what she saw. She saw a very tall girl who looks to be about 5 that can barely speak running back and forth across the aisles while her mother called her back every 3 minutes. She saw a little boy whining and smacking his mother and the mother just cradled him like it was OK.

Autism, PDD-NOS, Aspergers and other spectrum disorders don't show on the outside. It's not like having a child in a wheelchair or a child who uses sign language. Our kids usually just look rude and poorly parented. In reality, those kids are my life. Not a day goes by where I don't try to teach them something about God, manners, speech or anything else I can do. I feel like I have to teach sideways because that's how they see the world. It's slow going because I have to learn them first, then translate what I want to teach into their language and then teach them.

The next time you see a mother struggling with her children, please don't make a snap decision. That child may be battling something you can't see. That child might just be late for a nap. Either way, give an encouraging smile and let that mother know that she's going to be OK.

Sunshine

Coconutty

The Boy is napping. Actually napping.

Milly has finished her nap and is chatting to herself. I have her lunch ready.

Sophie is watching an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

I am...um..."indisposed" and feel comfortable enough that Sophie won't set something on fire that I actually close the door.

All of the sudden, the door FLIES open and Sophie is standing there with her big Daisy doll and little Daisy doll clutched to her.

"DA POCO TAKER!", she says in a hushed tone. Then she leaves. (That's "The coconut taker!" in Sophie-speak and a quote from the episode.)

Then I laugh until I cry.

We Took a Walk Today

Mama's Black and White and Red All Over

Freezer Meals: Review

Today marks the end of the first week of the Freezer Meal experiment. I think this is working out nicely!

Here's what the first week looked like after a few switches:

Not too shabby!

My freezer is also pretty darn full.

• chicken parm casserole bag
• 2 roast chicken bags
• 4 chicken fajita bags
• 4 marinated steak bags
• beef stroganoff bag

I haven't even started making the other meals. It's a little time consuming and difficult to do with ankle biters. I do still have a lot of chicken that is ready to be pounded, stuffed and marinated in different ways. I think I might have overbought a little this month and I'm ahead of myself for next month. No bother! Chicken was on a great sale and now I can focus on some good fresh veggies for sides. I also didn't take into account how much leftovers I would have. That stroganoff recipe makes enough for 3 nights which is why we had a leftover night.

I looked at the food budget and it has gone WAY down. We haven't been going to the store every other day to get this and that. I might send my husband to the store after work to get a few things but he's much better about sticking to a strict list.

Plus, if I had to listen to my daughter ask for grapes one more time then my brain was going to flee screaming into the night.

Notes to self: Buy grapes on sale and freeze them. Cut down the stroganoff recipe. Congratulate husband for eating spinach.

Fruit Fanatics

Clerks look at me funny when I come through their line with 30 pounds of bananas, 20 pounds of apples, 15 pounds of clementines and 14 bags of grapes.

They have no idea that this is just a weekend snack to my children.

Sophie is just now starting to request little bits of chocolate. It's few and far between. She would much rather have a bowl of fresh strawberries with a cup of apple juice on the side. Gideon would eat 5 oranges in one sitting if I let him. I don't because I know that he would turn himself inside out. Even Milly, my little chocolate milk addict, sets aside cupcakes with disdain because there is fresh pineapple available.

I love my little fruit freaks.

Couch Mater

Weakness

I failed to learn my verse for February. It seems appropriate that my March verse is 2 Corinthians 12:9.

Paul is writing a letter to the church in Corinth. In this chapter, he's talking about seeing other men do great things for the Lord. These men he will boast about he will never boast about himself. He speaks of a "thorn" in his life that he has thrice asked God to remove from his life. We never find about what Paul is suffering. Here is God's answer to Paul's pleas for release:

But he replied, “My gift of undeserved grace is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak.” So if Christ keeps giving me his power, I will gladly brag about how weak I am.  (CEV)

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (ESV)

God tells Paul to stop asking for the thorn to be taken from him. He tells Paul that what he sees as a weakness is going to be used by God to show that the power comes from God alone and not from Paul. Paul accepts this and decides to let people know that he is weak, human and flawed so that they can see that every good and powerful thing happens all from God.

I feel so flawed lately. More so than ever. Maybe it feels highlighted because I'm struggling with my thorn. Parenting three children, especially one with special needs and one who is showing signs of the same special needs, with an anxiety disorder makes me want to run screaming for my safe place. It makes me want to shut down and go back to my old and destructive habits.

I then remind myself that God gave these children to me and to Ben. He had a reason for giving these three specific children with their specific needs to us.

I am too weak to care for my children. I am too scared to know what to do when meltdowns happen. I'm get so anxious that I feel myself separate from my body and the world swells around me.

Whatever good things you see in my life, whatever milestones you see my children reach, whatever smiles and laughs come out of my mouth are all from God. His power is made perfect and very evident in my weakness.

 

Spring Reading Thing

Ah, books. I always say that I'll read anything. Then I take a look at my Goodreads 2012 Challenge. 

Wow. That's a lot of geeky books.

My girlfriend told me of a challenge of which she was taking part and it sounded like fun.

I was ready to just take the next few books from my Goodreads list and put them up here when I paused and thought.

Why not really challenge myself?

So I looked through my To Read list and found books that I believe will further my walk with the Lord. I want to know Him better. I want to learn more about how to walk with Him. That's the reason they're on this list.

So here is my list:

Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God
Francis Chan

Going All the Way: Planning for a Marriage That Goes the Distance
Craig Groeschel

Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World: Finding Intimacy with God in the Busyness of Life
Joanna Weaver

Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands
Gary L. Thomas

The challenge begins on March 20th and ends on June 20th. This is my challenge. In June we'll see how I did!

Mondays: Slow Cooker Day

Monday is always a reset day. The kids and I have to get used to Daddy going back to work and there's always a weekend mess to clean up.

Enter Mama's Best Friend: The Slow Cooker.

Menu: Slow Cooker Beef Stroganoff, Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Sauteed Mushrooms

I've already posted the recipe once. I truly love this beef stroganoff. It's comforting and creamy. I've taken steps to making it a little more point friendly by tweaking it.

• replace the condensed Golden mushroom soup with 98% Fat Free mushroom soup
• replace the beefy onion soup with Progresso French onion soup
• use half of a chopped fresh onion instead of half of a bag of frozen
• don't add the water
• use reduced fat cream cheese

After making the meal for tonight, I just made a second meal in a labeled Ziploc bag. I put the stew meat, onion, soups, seasonings and Worcestshire sauce in the bag and squished it around. This will go in the slow cooker straight from the freezer.

I also labeled the cream cheese so I would remember to save it for that meal. There's another meal in my freezer stockpile!

Here are our dinners. Mine is the one surrounded by glorious wonderful mushrooms while Ben has the pile of banal mashed potatoes.

*sigh*

Poor boy does not share my love for fungi. I love him still.

Sundays: Roast Chicken

Sunday is a day for the slow cooker. It's a day for a nice big roast. I'll mix it up on other months when other meats go on sale. This month, whole chickens were on sale.

Menu: Roast chicken, garlic mashed potatoes, steamed green beans

First, I realized that I needed to partially thaw all 4 of my chickens. I couldn't pry the dadgum legs apart and get to the giblets to save my life. On Sunday morning, I set up my assembly line.

• 4 chickens, giblets removed ("HEARTS AND KIDNEYS ARE TINKER TOYS!" Name that movie!)
• Spice rub (recipe below)
• 4 slow cooker liner bags
• 3 labeled gallon sized freezer bags
• 2 onions, peeled and cut into eighths

First I put together the chicken for that night's dinner. I put the slow cooker liner in the slow cooker and laid the chicken to rest. Then I rubbed it all over with my spice mix.

• 4 tablespoons kosher salt
• 2 tablespoons paprika
• 1 tablespoon dried thyme
• 2 tablespoons black pepper
• 2 tablespoons garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon cayenne pepper

Then I threw the top on and set it on low. All done until dinner!

Next, I did the same thing with the rest of the chickens. This time I twirled the top of the slow cooker bag until the chicken was nicely tucked together. Then everything got stuffed into a labeled freezer bag. Now I have three Sunday dinners waiting to be put into the slow cooker.

I don't add any moisture to the slow cooker as the chicken is cooking. It will create enough of its own and the slow cooker bag keeps everything self-basting. I did go in about halfway and turned the chicken over to let it cook a little more evenly.

And we have chicken! When I pulled it out of the slow cooker, it fell apart. Seriously. I was left holding a leg in the tongs and my shirt was splattered. I served this with potatoes and steamed green beans. The onion was WOOOOONDERFUL with the chicken. The potatoes were just for the hubby since I'm watching my points. I'll try to update points values later.

Enjoy your bird flesh!

Prepping The Meals!

After buying all of the ingredients, the next thing to do was put everything together.

Of course I made a list for that!

This lets me know what to do up until the time I need to put it in the bag to freeze. I also have it listed at the top of the recipe how many times I need to make that specific recipe. I've even reminded myself to mark certain things in the fridge so that 3 weeks from now I'm not staring at a pack of cream cheese wondering why it's there. It will be marked "Beef Stroganoff 4/9" and I won't put it on my toast.

It is destined for better things. Like beef and mushrooms. Lots of mushrooms. Glorious mushrooms.

*drooooool*

Ahem.  So, this is my process! My basic thought is if I'm going to make it once then why not make it twice or 4 times and freeze the excess for other nights? If I have an hour of free time then why not take that hour and make 4 bags of chicken fajitas so that I don't have to do it on a night where Milly is going through her "Mama has walked away and has disappeared therefore I must SCREAM!" phases?

Mama Looks Good In Yellow

Duck Feet

She eats socks. Who needs fries?

The Shopping Lists

After I put together my meal plan, the next step was to break that down into a shopping list. Actually, it was a few shopping lists.

One of the problems that I had before was that I would buy everything at once and about halfway through the month all of my produce had gone bad and my dairy had curdled. So here are my shopping lists.

This is the main shopping list. First I took a trip through the kitchen to see what I had on hand and what I needed. Then I put together this Main List. I'm also prepping ahead on breakfasts and lunches so those are in the shopping list as well. This list is a little longer than most because I needed to restock my spice rack. I also had looked at the circulars to see what meats were on sale and tailored my meal plans around that. Chicken and steaks were on sale at Sprouts and Albertsons. Hooray for lean meats! I'm also easing into this by making a lot of slow cooker meals and meals that know very well. These are things I can make in my sleep.

Each week then gets one of these; a Perishable List. These are the weekly trips I will make to Sprouts and another store for the produce and dairy that is needed just for that week. This is perilous because I am an impulse buyer. I am determined to stick to my lists no matter how much I think I need another bag of Pop Chips. My kids go through about 2 gallons of milk a week. I have seriously looked at the zoning laws and thought about how much a cow costs. Until then, I have to go each week and get their milk along with the rest of the sour cream and whatever produce is on sale. I'm grateful that my kids drink milk and eat fruit rather than ask for soda and candy. It just means I have to practice my resilience when I go through Sprouts and look at all of the wonderful things in the bulk section.

I don't need chocolate covered espresso beans. I don't.

Maybe just a Ritter Sport...

Adventures in Once a Month / Freezer Cooking

In an attempt to force myself to cook daily, lower calories and tighten the budget I've been trying different methods of "Once A Month Cooking". This is where you go grocery shopping once a month, come home and prepare individual meals in freezer bags, casserole dishes and other holders to label and freeze. These meals are then ready to be taken out and cooked by your meal plan for the month. This eliminates the need for a 30 minute prep when your kids have stolen your will to live much less chop onions and smash garlic cloves.

I've tried different websites claiming to hold all of your recipes and then collate a shopping list. None of them did it right. OK, none of them did it MY way. So after much trial and error I found my way.

So, this is just my meal plan. It's color-coded by week from Wednesday to Wednesday. This is because I go produce shopping at Sprouts every week and Wednesdays are Double-Ad Day. (I'm cheap.) I'll get into the shopping stuff on a later post.

I started going by a system. Sundays are Roast Day, Mondays are Slow Cooker Days, Tuesday is Mediterranean Night, Wednesday is Italian Night, Thursday is Fajita Night, Friday is Steak Night. On Saturdays, I will actually cook something not out of the freezer just to give myself a little nudge.

Here I go. I will post recipes and pictures. I'll fill you in on the shopping process. I'll let you know if we're sticking to it and if it's making a difference in our wallet and my Weight Watchers Points.