How to Get Cheap

It's time to start cutting costs. It's time to start pinching pennies. It's time to learn how to be a housewife. Not quite Depression-era but no more buying processed frozen chicken nuggets because it's supposedly the only thing the kids will eat and it's easy.

Here's some ideas:

• Breadmaker. Time to start making some simple breads. Limit the sugar and possibly go gluten-free. Can this thing do pizza crusts and tortillas?
• Yogurt and kefir. All three kiddos love yogurt and two of them like the kefir smoothies I got on sale at the store. (Good thing it's the ones with the biggest need for Regulation.)
• Jams and jellies. It's time to learn how to do some easy canning with in-season fruits. Then I can add it to the homemade yogurt and kefir.
• Keep up with the freezer meals and meal planning. No more coddling the kids. They eat what we eat.
• Time to grow some herbs. Probably the basic Scarborough Faire variety with some dill and oregano thrown in there.
• Costco card. It is time to brave the beast.
• Start cutting down on processed foods. I can make nearly all of them myself. It's just a matter of learning how to keep them.
• Get a cow. These kids go through a lot of milk.

OK, so that last one probably isn't in the cards. Although I wouldn't have to pay for lawn care and I'm well-versed in cleaning large deposits of patties.

• We already shop clearance racks and resale shops. I think I've got the clothing bill down.
•  Ben is going to get Apple TV at the beginning of May and we'll start ripping our DVD collection. We're also looking into a Drobo to back everything up.
• Homemade cleaners. My girlfriend gave me her recipes and I'm gathering up the basic ingredients. It's pretty cool how many overlap.
• Potty train The Boy. *shudder*

Does anyone else have any suggestions? Give me your best!

Boogie Woogie Brain

I'm at a low point right now. I'm not even sure why it's happening. Yes, life is very stressful right now.

• We're still trying to enroll Sophie into different therapies. GISD is dragging their feet and they keep asking for more paperwork. I've given them enough that they will at least put her case in front of a board to see if she qualifies for the PPCD program. She probably won't start that program until the next school year. We've been wait-listed for speech therapy at the Callier Center. So now we just have to figure out a schedule, find some classes and possibly go back to Mother's Day out for the summer. The speech therapist said that Sophie would respond very well to therapy.
• Gideon is still showing autism red flags. He will turn 3 at the end of June. I've spoken to the GISD people and we're going to wait until he turns 3 and inevitably fails his pediatrician's developmental evaluation. Pair that with a vision and hearing test and we'll see if he can also qualify for the PPCD program in the fall. Again, we'll just look for some speech classes and maybe MDO in the summer. He is talking more and more. We're noticing that what originally looked like red flags are actually part of a shy personality. He's a quiet little introvert just like his Daddy. He can talk but a lot of the time he just chooses not to. He loves to sing and that makes my heart soar.
• Milly is hitting all of her milestones. She's a feisty little thing. I wept tears of joy when I saw her stacking blocks at 14 months old instead of over 2 years old like her siblings. She walks all over and runs if she's getting into something. She laughs at everything and screeches if it's really funny. She eats like a teenage boy. She toots like one, too. She hates wearing bows and dresses. She loves watching the Ranger games. She's Daddy's Little Sunshine. I would love to see her in MDO, too. She's pretty firmly entrenched in the separation anxiety phase and MDO changes that quickly.
• We're staying in the same rental house for another year. There is a lot of work that needs to happen in this house to make it habitable. The majority of the work is going to fall to me. Every room needs to be painted and trim needs to be added. 3 ceiling fans will be replaced and one will be added. Closets will be emptied and reorganized. The master walk-in closet will be turned into a very small office space. The kids will share one bedroom and have a playroom.

All of this is added to the day-to-day cooking, cleaning and general domesticated merriment of a SAHM. I'm still losing weight and inches on the Weight Watchers plan. I've boxed up a ton of my old clothes. There's not a whole lot left. It's irritating to buy new clothes right now for a few reasons and they are both ridiculous.

1. I'm outgrowing clothes quickly. I don't like spending $60 on a pair of jeans that are going to be saggy-baggy in a month. I know. BOO-HOO.
2. Everything is in pretty and bright springy colors right when I'm in a depressive funk. I want to buy all black but then I lust after yellow shirts and cherry covered purses. I know. GET OVER YOURSELF.

All of this rambling diatribe is basically to say that anxiety sucks, my life is actually going very well and I need prayers that God won't stop hitting me with a 2x4 until my eyes uncross and I see what He's given me.

10 Things I Have Learned in 4 Years of Motherhood

1. If I rip the delicate little tab off then I will reach for packing tape instead of another diaper.
2. I can tell you which of my kids has soiled themselves just by the smell.
3. I can walk down 3 grocery store aisles with my daughter hanging from my shirt, bringing the neckline down to my navel, and not notice a thing.
4. Bubble baths are sacred.
5. I can carry a boneless and shrieking 4-year old to the car and still remain cheerful in my tone of voice.
6. I really don't care if they refuse to eat dinner one night. They're not going to starve. I just mentally make a note to be ready at breakfast.
7. Poop, barf, spit, snot and other bodily fluids no longer gross me out. Bring on the nursing degree.
8. My bed. MY. BED. NOT THEIRS.
9. Cheapo notebooks are better coloring books than actual coloring books.
10. Mothers are superheroes who believe that every single other mother is doing it better than they are.

Hug a mother today.

Wednesday Whine

You don't have to read it. Just let me get it out.

Yesterday, DFW was hit with a dozen tornadoes. I am so not exaggerating. I spent two hours in the small bathroom surrounded by toys, snacks, pillows and blankets with my three kids.

Going to the mattresses means something different in Texas.

That was two hours of telling the kids that NO we can't go watch Mickey and please sit down and how about we watch something on Mama's computer and PLEASE STOP KICKING EACH OTHER.

After about 30 minutes, I was ready for the tornado to take us. Praise God for wireless internet, laptops and You Tube.

Today we're all cranky and discombobulated. We can't go outside to hit their reset buttons. It's way too muddy and there are ants everywhere. Sophie took one look and said "No. Icky." Gideon headed straight for the biggest puddle of mud he could find until I yanked him back.

My head is killing me. Snot from Mars is trying to suffocate me along with the Texas pollen that was kicked up yesterday.

Milly isn't happy unless she is hunting down another basket of toys to upend and scatter to the four winds. Actually, all of the kids just want the toys spread in a fine layer on the living room floor. They don't really want to play with them. I guess they just want to see every single one.

If I step on that stupid giraffe Little People toy again then it's going to the moon.

I feel terrible complaining when we have it so easy. People lost homes, cars and were severely injured yesterday. My family is safe. The house is fine.

I just don't feel good and the kids are running me ragged. Sorry for the whine.

Judged

Today was grocery day. I loaded Gideon and Sophie into the car and we headed to the WalMarts. They needed to get out of the house. I wanted Sophie's opinion on what to get. She can actually voice her wants and preferences now!

We're walking down the aisles; Gideon is in the seat of the cart and Sophie is next to me. Sophie is gleefully pointing at things she recognizes and calling out the names. She repeats things often and wants me to repeat them, too. I keep her out of the way of other shoppers as best I can but she's 4 and she's fast. She listens well, though, and comes back to me every single time I call her name. I have to call it a lot.

Gideon is DONE WITH THIS about halfway through the aisles. He starts whining and hitting at me. I know this behavior. He just wants to be held.

Aside: We're almost certain that Gideon is going to test somewhere on the spectrum. He only shows two feelings; happiness and frustration. The rest of the time, he is a blank slate. He lines up toys and builds sculptures that no 2-year old should be able to see. He is almost perfectly mute except for a few repetitive speeches from TV and songs. I can already see stimming when he gets upset. The only thing that is different is that he seems to crave rather than shy away from physical touch. It MUST be from me, though. I have to hold him a certain way when he gets upset. I have to speak to him or sing his lullabye.

I stop our cart, make sure Sophie is holding onto the side and looking at the cracker selection and reach down to hug Gideon. I speak softly to him and we count to ten. He perks up a little and we go on our way. It's then that I see a young woman giving me a horribly dirty look. She walks away with a young man while muttering something about "spoiled brats".

Really.

I desperately wanted to turn around and say something witty, scathing and educational to this woman. I wanted to yell at her that we were actually having a very good day. I wanted to tell her about all of the leaps that Sophie had done over the last month. I wanted to tell her why she was so very wrong about my children.

Instead, I turned around and asked Sophie whether she wanted Cheez-Its or Goldfish. She wanted Goldfish. The color ones.

That woman was ignorant. She has no idea what my family struggles with every single day. She chose to make a snap decision based on what she saw. She saw a very tall girl who looks to be about 5 that can barely speak running back and forth across the aisles while her mother called her back every 3 minutes. She saw a little boy whining and smacking his mother and the mother just cradled him like it was OK.

Autism, PDD-NOS, Aspergers and other spectrum disorders don't show on the outside. It's not like having a child in a wheelchair or a child who uses sign language. Our kids usually just look rude and poorly parented. In reality, those kids are my life. Not a day goes by where I don't try to teach them something about God, manners, speech or anything else I can do. I feel like I have to teach sideways because that's how they see the world. It's slow going because I have to learn them first, then translate what I want to teach into their language and then teach them.

The next time you see a mother struggling with her children, please don't make a snap decision. That child may be battling something you can't see. That child might just be late for a nap. Either way, give an encouraging smile and let that mother know that she's going to be OK.

Coconutty

The Boy is napping. Actually napping.

Milly has finished her nap and is chatting to herself. I have her lunch ready.

Sophie is watching an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

I am...um..."indisposed" and feel comfortable enough that Sophie won't set something on fire that I actually close the door.

All of the sudden, the door FLIES open and Sophie is standing there with her big Daisy doll and little Daisy doll clutched to her.

"DA POCO TAKER!", she says in a hushed tone. Then she leaves. (That's "The coconut taker!" in Sophie-speak and a quote from the episode.)

Then I laugh until I cry.

Fruit Fanatics

Clerks look at me funny when I come through their line with 30 pounds of bananas, 20 pounds of apples, 15 pounds of clementines and 14 bags of grapes.

They have no idea that this is just a weekend snack to my children.

Sophie is just now starting to request little bits of chocolate. It's few and far between. She would much rather have a bowl of fresh strawberries with a cup of apple juice on the side. Gideon would eat 5 oranges in one sitting if I let him. I don't because I know that he would turn himself inside out. Even Milly, my little chocolate milk addict, sets aside cupcakes with disdain because there is fresh pineapple available.

I love my little fruit freaks.

Oy

I'm tired and I have a headache. Enjoy this lazy picture post!

Gideon practicing his accounting skills.

While I was doing laundry, Gideon demanded to wear his Daddy's shirt.

"You've got a friend and a breakfast buddy in me!"

Such a lady.

Watching ARCA racing intently with Daddy.

She's hiding. You can't see her.

Milly likes Abby Cadabby.

Monday Brain Dump

I am one tired Mama.

I'm watching the monsters run around and act out the Minnie Red Riding Hood episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and thanking God for On Demand.  Where was that when I was little and wanted to watch my favorite episode of Sesame Street?

Ugh.  Kids these days.  Back in my day we had to use our imaginations to make a forest into an Ewok village and suffer through the Shemp episodes.  We learned to watch and like the commercials.

I think I'm going to need to go get my nose ring and my pink / red hair streaks just to balance out that comment.

I'm still in the mood for good action movies.  Good blow-em up stuff. Any suggestions?  Funny action is even more appreciated.  Like Red.  That movie was awe-to-the-some.

I got a day out with my bestie this Saturday and had a blast.  I came home with a bag of clothes in a size smaller than what I usually wear and chocolate bath stuff.  We also had fun making each other laugh until we cried and getting a little too loud in public.  I'm pretty sure at least 4 people thought we were drunk.

I sound like Amy Farrah Fowler when I call her my bestie.  I'm pretty sure this means I need a tiara.

Sophie RAN to the potty this morning and went potty for her Sunday School teachers yesterday.  It's sinking in!  Now if she'll just stop pooping in her pants.  That would be nice.

Milly has a cold, teeth coming in and had a really poopy diaper this morning.  Poor miserable baby.  She needed extra cuddling.

Gideon is finally over his cough.  The asthma makes me nervous every time he gets a cold.  I feel like I can breathe a little easier, too.

Lifechurch.tv is starting a series on Samson.  I'm very intrigued.

Lake Pointe just started a series on Fixing Your Marriage.  The first message was yesterday and hasn't been posted yet.  When it is then you should watch it.  It was REALLY good.

All done.  Time for laundry.

The Potty is Not Going To Eat You

Look, the majority of the content on this blog is going to revolve around potty training my stubborn 4 year old daughter for a while.  I might break it up occasionally but right now her shiny little heinie is pretty much the focus of my days.  If you're getting bored then go look at cat videos.

Today was day 2 of Operation Break Sophie's Will or Possibly Pop Her Kidneys.

She came out of bed with the diaper that ate Manhattan.  I cleaned her up and left her pantsless.  My sister calls this the "Winnie the Pooh" or "Donald Duck" method.  Sophie knew what this meant and started getting cranky right away.  I offered a potty trip and she fell to the ground howling.  I said "OK!" and walked away.

She got up.  Stared at me.  Looked at the bathroom.  I could see her little brain working it out.  I didn't care?  I wasn't going to make her do anything?  What's the catch?

I watched her fight all day.  I gave her cup after cup after cup of juice.  Finally, I was sorting clothes in the hallway when it hit.

Sophie came SCA-REE-HEEMING down the hallway like she was on fire.  Again, I calmly looked at her and asked her if she wanted to go potty.  She screamed all the way to the bathroom and I heard clanking, banging, crashes and finally...a small tinkling sound.

The sound of victory.

Granted, she had ripped down my cute little potty chart and peed on it.  She was also just hovering over the potty and had peed in / on it.  It took 15 minutes to calm her down and convince her that she was not going to turn inside out and die right there on the tile floor.  I cleaned everything up and brought out the stickers.

"Stickees?", she said while sniffling.

"Yes, baby!  You get to put stickers on your chart now!"

She gleefully put a sticker in the box and another at the top of the chart.  Then she came out to the living room and paced around and around.  She kept going over to the laundry and bringing me her pants because she knows that pants mean a diaper as well.  I knew she still had to go so I asked her again.  She yelled as she ran into the bathroom...and then ran right back out into the living room.

It's OK.  Mama has Resolve.

After getting everything out of her system, the fight just left her.  She sat in my lap, exhausted and worn.  She slept for 15 minutes that way.  (Me praying the whole time that she didn't pee all over me.)  When she woke up...something clicked.

5 more times today, she went to the potty and did her business.  This time it was with clapping, dancing and elated stickering.  One time, she even ran to me in the kitchen to tell me she had to go.  She went to bed tonight with 6 stickers on her chart and a Pull-Up on her butt.  She fell asleep in minutes.

I know not every day is going to be like this.  Some days will be great.  Some days will go through a whole can of Resolve and most of my resolve.  Today, however, ended with 6 stickers.  I feel like I earned them, too.

2011 Review

January: Sophie turns 3. Milly is born full term. NO NICU. Sophie adores her sister. Gideon thinks that I've brought home some sort of elaborate baby doll. I begin getting up at night again with a baby and fall in love with infomercials all over again. How I got through her first few months without buying Pajama Jeans and a GT Xpress Redi Set Go is totally beyond me.

February: I begin this blog! I had a newborn, a toddler and a preschooler. Everything goes hazy. The heater breaks during the coldest month in Texas and we spend a few days at my grandma's house until everything gets sorted out with my landlord. Things start to get dark as I struggle to keep my head above water. Hillsong's The Greatness of Our God becomes the song I turn to whenever I need to remember that God is always bigger than my problems. Also, Milly meets the sling for the first time and I begin to wonder if my children are part marsupial.

March: Sophie and Gideon start Mother's Day Out. I find a new psychiatrist and go back on meds. The haze begins to lift. I get time alone with my newborn. It's easier to clean the house and get to church. Sophie begins to talk more and Gideon comes out of his shell at MDO. My babies know how to play with other kids!

April: Milly begins smiling! She's so beautiful! She still has all of her hair and it gets curly after a bath. On the 18th, she rolls over from her tummy to her back for the first time. My third baby and I'm still mesmerized by how my baby learns. She sleeps through the night and doesn't spit up too much after we've switched her to a new formula. She babbles all of the time. At the end of the month, Gideon spends two days at Children's Legacy with breathing problems. I'm fed up by this point and determined to find a doctor to give me a proactive solution for my baby boy. I still remember one Sunday morning when I took the girls to church and Ben stayed home with Gideon. During the service, my song (Greatness of Our God) played and I dropped to the floor as I sobbed to God to help my baby.

May: The Plague descends upon the Dyer household. Ear infections all around for the kids, bronchitis for Mama and Ben gets a Severe Man Cold. Holy macaroni, it's a tough few weeks but we get through it and come out on the other side just in time for Ben to go on his first business trip. Three days alone with the kids! OH BOY. Beyond my wildest expectations, the kids are complete angels. They go to Mother's Day Out, eat their dinners and go to bed without fussing. I even try to invite Sophie to stay up late and hang out with Mama and then sleep in Mama's bed! Fun! Girl time! Sleepover! This is met with a firm NO and a reminder that we not deviate from routine. (Honestly, Mother.) Finally, finally, FINALLY we see a doctor who diagnoses Gideon with asthma. My baby has a daily inhaler that lets him breathe! He's a different kid within a week! I know that no mother would ever wish asthma on their children but I'm just grateful that we have an answer. Milly begins teething and it pisses her off ROYALLY. The kids "participate" in their first Easter Egg Hunt and are completely flummoxed by the concept. They are given Pity Eggs from other kids. Gideon tries to eat the plastic eggs. When they are found to be inedible he turns them into grenades. Ben and I celebrate our 4th anniversary. We kiss a lot. Ben's parents come to Dallas for a few days and proclaim Milly acceptable.

June: I turn...26. Let's say 26. We have family pictures taken by the fabulous Jenn Weis. They are amazing and I commit to getting family pictures done once a year. Milly begins to scoot and army crawl. I move everything up a shelf. I try to potty train Sophie and she pees on Milly's head. Sophie is not ready for potty training. We begin to think that something more than a speech delay is wrong with Sophie. Gideon turns two and my heart breaks a little. Milly is introduced to solid food in the form of cereal and yogurt. She gobbles it down, grabs for the spoon and screeches at me when I go too slow. I begin making my own baby food again.

July: Milly rolls over from her back to her tummy. Now she looks like she's on a hot dog cooker. She can army crawl or roll to where she wants to go. Three mobile kids are making me want that third eye in the back of my head that every mother claims. Sophie discovers that forts are really cool and I begin saving giant boxes. She also goes to her first pool party and we discover that she is a water baby! Why can't that translate to the bath when I have to wash her hair?! My best friend had her first and long-awaited baby boy. I was there at the hospital in the middle of the night to wait and greet him. It's the first time I've been on that side of the situation and it was interesting to experience. Sophie said "I love you" for the first time. Ben and I freak out and beg her to repeat it as often as possible.

August: Milly has cut two teeth and can sit up on her own. She is a really easy baby until her teeth make her mad and she Hulks out. Then we run for the Baby Orajel before the house shifts to the left again. To bookend Texas weather, the A/C decides to break during the hottest summer we've had in decades. We spend days at my mother's house while we struggle with the repairs and landlord again. Sophie is going through a Naked Phase and I say a silent prayer every single time we leave the house that everything stays on her body until we get home. Once we get home, I don't care as long as her non-potty-trained butt is diapered. Her only obsession is with socks. I regularly have a naked, diapered 3 year old roaming my house with a Cookie Monster sock on one foot and an Elmo sock on the other foot. Sometimes she's wearing her black patent Mary Janes. I begin watching the 2005 reboot of Doctor Who and become a certified Whovian. David Tennant is my Doctor. At the end of the month, Milly begins pulling up and I start pulling out my hair. Gideon is my quiet little man with a maniacal oral fixation. He chews almost through the PS3 cord and every single wood item we own has bite marks around his height. His crib looks like we raise beavers. I join and become completely obsessed with Pinterest.

September: Sophie is speaking more and doing well at MDO. However, she still needs more help. We are researching Pediatric Developmental Doctors and try to get her enrolled into GISD for speech classes. This develops into a HUGE ordeal with more paperwork than I ever imagined could exist. Ben turns 32. I actually get crafty and MAKE something for his birthday. Pinterest Addiction has actually paid off! Milly pulls up and begins cruising around the furniture. Holy Moly, three mobile kids are a lot of work!

October:Milly can sit in a high chair and feed herself! Kinda. Sorta. OK, we find a lot of stuff in her lap but some delicious morsels make it into her mouth and she's very proud! We make the difficult decision to take the kids out of MDO. The time and money is just not there. I'm medicated and ready to entertain the kiddos at home. If and when we get a second car then we will revisit the idea of MDO for Gideon and possibly Milly. Sophie will hopefully begin some sort of school to help her with her speech and developmental delays. Baseball season begins and Ben discovers that Milly is the Rangers' lucky charm. Milly has a lot of late bedtimes waiting for "one more inning". Sophie has found a new love in the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and adores Daisy. We take the kids to the Disney Store for the first time. Sophie leaves with a large Daisy doll and does not put her down for about a week and a half. Gideon leaves with Pluto and even Milly grabbed a small Jessie doll. It's fun to see the kids eyes get wide as they see their favorite characters in a store where they can hold them and take them home. Milly begins babbling with a purpose and her first word is Mama. I am now two for one. (Sophie is the only one who said Dada first.) We take the kids to the Mesquite Lake Pointe Fall Festival. Everything goes surprisingly well!

November: We're gearing up for a trip to Arizona at Thanksgiving so the majority of the month is making lists and checking them twice. Gideon gets his first haircut and the building is still standing. I only cried a little. We have a get-together with my mother's side of the family and I'm reminded again how blessed I am and how nuts my family can be. Milly finally says Dada but NEVER around her DADA! Ben and I pay off the Volvo S80 we bought the first year we were married. It may not work but it's ours and we're grateful. We spend the 19th and the 20th traveling to Arizona with three kids. How we didn't end up tossing them at Nana and Grampie and then checking into the nearest Mental Institution is still beyond me. The kids are overjoyed to see their grandparents and great-grandparents and the weather is wonderful. On Thanksgiving Day, Ben is felled with a stomach virus. The grandparents take the kids while I stay at the hotel to care for Ben. Great-Grammie is also sick. When they bring the kids back that night, we find out that Gideon barfed all over his Grampie. He barfs again when he gets back to the hotel. Milly saves the day by saying Dada to her Daddy for the first time while in his lap. The next day, I'm sick and my MIL is sick. The grandparents take the kids while Ben takes me back to the hotel. The day we leave, Grampie and Great-Grampie are sick. Gideon barfs AGAIN in the hotel on the way home. Only Sophie and Milly manage to dodge the bug. Dyer Thanksgiving 2011 goes down in history.

December: Gideon is still having some freaky stomach problems. I take him off of dairy products to see if he is lactose-intolerant and it gets worse. Diaper changes become terrifying to my baby boy. Milly begins standing all by herself. She also becomes a dedicated thumb sucker. Sometimes, when the teething gets bad, then she'll take a pacifier. She has little bite marks all over her right thumb that make me cringe every time. We finish the last can of formula and switch her over to regular milk without a fuss. No diaper problems, no YUCK WHAT IS THIS, no drama. She prefers her milk warmed and really likes warm chocolate milk. On December 17th, Milly takes her first steps. She's only taken a few steps since then. We think it's because it's too unstable and slow. She's a speed crawler and has no time for walking. There's older siblings to chase! Christmas goes off without a hitch. I receive a new Kindle from my love with a handmade BY HIM cover! HE GOT CRAFTY. The kids got new toys including a Little People Ark and Sesame Street figurines. It's funny to watch them put Super Grover at the front of the Ark and think "Wow. That ark is DOOMED." The indoctrination also continued in the form of Texas A&M Reveille and the Texas Rangers Captain Pillow Pets. The girls wore matching Christmas sweater dresses and were the most adorable things on Earth. Sophie was accepted by a Developmental Pediatric Practice and will see them for the first time in January. Ben and I spent the last night of 2011 with steaks and Big Bang Theory.

2011, you were full of laughter, tears, surprises, sickness, healing and love.

2012, I can't wait to see what God has in store.

Grateful

There are people that have wanted children for years that have never seen two lines on a pregnancy test.

I've seen three born safely to my arms.

There are people who mourn loved ones that are in other states, other countries and are sometimes in danger.

My family is under one roof; safe and sound.

There are mothers who cry today because they don't know how they will feed their children.

There is not just food in my kitchen but special lactose-free food so that my son doesn't get sick.

There are wives that look at their husband and wonder if he truly loves them. Some of them know that he doesn't and even know the other woman's name.

My husband is faithful to God first and me second.

There are people who cannot worship God in public for fear of persecution. They struggle everyday with the balance of leading others to God and staying safe.

I have a wonderful church home where I can worship with friends and family.

No matter what happens this Christmas season, I will be grateful for all that I have. This includes a loving God who sent His only Son to live as a man so that I could understand Him better. A God that cries with me when I cry, who cheers with me when I succeed and who lifts me back onto my feet with a kiss when I fall.

Merry Christmas.

Now go eat some cookies.

Parenting Pet Peeves

OK, I know I've totally skipped over the Arizona Thanksgiving Car Trip Extravaganza and I PROMISE that I'm going to tell you all about it. It's going to take some time and I'm just now getting to the point where I can tell the story without cringing and hiding in a corner with a bucket as a helmet and a makeshift sword.

So, for now, let's talk about the irritating things our kids do.

My two oldest still use sippy sups. Sophie knows how to use a regular cup but I won't let her take it around the house because I don't like cleaning milk off of every single surface including the ceiling.

Gideon still takes regular cups and dumps them over his head like he's in the bath instead of at Chili's.

I lovingly fix my darlings sippy cups every morning; regular milk for Sophie since she doesn't like chocolate and chocolate milk (now soy milk) for Gideon. Gideon has been showing signs of lactose intolerance so we're trying to wean him over. What better way than with the dark lusciousness of chocolate?

Sophie takes her cup and babbles happily through her clothes change and then goes to greet her sister and her toys.

When I hand Gideon his cup, he drains almost everything and then you can almost see the cup evaporate into thin air. I sigh and wonder where I'm going to find it this time.

2 weeks later under the couch?
4 days later under his crib?
6 hours later behind a couch cushion?

ALL OF THESE HAVE HAPPENED.

He drinks some and then just stashes the cup. I try to watch him like a hawk to see where the cup will land but, well I have two other children who already know 867,946 ways to kill themselves and each other with household objects.

When we move from this house I expect to find sippy cups in every single room of the house. Some will have cheese and some will have wine. Perfect for a going away party.

Lord, Give Me Strength

You know what happens when you have kids close together?

You have two kids go through picky stages at the same time.

Sophie and Gideon ate nothing but tortillas at dinner last night and are now both refusing breakfast. They're drinking milk. I'm going to have to get some sort of Carnation Instant Breakfast to start putting in their morning milk to get some calories into them.

Milly, however, is looking at me like "Is that toast? Can I have another piece? I think I popped another button on my onesie!"

Halloween 2011

I was so prepared for Halloween to bite.

Let me back up. We have a HORRIBLE Halloween track record. Sophie was 10 months old on her first Halloween and was sick. No cute baby pictures of a confused pumpkin or pea pod. The second Halloween we had a 22 month old daughter and a 3 month old son. Both were sick. I started to wonder if Halloween really was cursed.

Finally last year, both children were germ-free! I was pregnant but could waddle along to the Fall Festival. That's what you do in the Buckle of the Bible Belt. You go to church-run Fall Festivals where the kids can play games to earn their candy.



Yoda and the Prima Donna Ballerina were not amused. Neither of them like candy, the games confused them and it was way past their bedtime. We lasted maybe 30 minutes.

This year we had three little monsters. Warily, I procured costumes. Did you know that NO ONE ON EARTH makes a Daisy Duck costume for kids?! Daisy is Sophie's favorite Disney character. So we went with Minnie instead and she carried her best friend.



Minnie is a little bit of a ham.



Gideon was a race car driver. In true 2-year old form, he took great offence at being dressed up and paraded about.



So Ben decided that he was Kurt Busch.

Milly was supposed to be an adorable little kitty cat in a tutu.


(image from Party City)

Cute, right?



Milly grew. So we put her in a tutued long sleeved dress and called her a ballerina-princess-cute-baby.

We got to the Fall Festival and my spirits (har!) were lifted when Sophie successfully played a beanbag game. I just have to teach her to pick the good kind of candy. She just grabs indiscriminately. We played beanbag toss games, basketball and a game where the kids grabbed a plastic duck out of a small pond. Gideon wanted the duck more and actually got one foot in the pool before I caught him.

Did I mention that none of my kids like candy?

There was a petting zoo and pony rides. We knew that Gideon would lose his diaper if we put him on a moving animal so I took him into the petting zoo instead. He just stood back and stared at the goats. He screamed in protest whenever I encouraged him to actually, you know, PET the animals. Then, after a short line, we were able to see just what would happen if you put Sophie on a horse.



She actually liked it! She kept saying GINNUP! and HOESEY! and whenever we passed her Daddy with the camera she would yell CHEEEEESE! The only downside was that Mama picked poorly and put her on the LARGEST pony there. Sophie kept leaning towards me and I was honestly afraid that she would tumble right off. It didn't help that I couldn't convince her to hold onto the durn saddle. She had fun but a horsewoman she is not.

When we left, not one child was crying. In fact, they were all smiling. This counts as a Win in the Dyer book. We finally won a Halloween!

Toe Jam

I just got to clean spinach puree from between my baby's toes.

Death to Naptime

I'm not sure what's happening in our house.

Sophie is 3 and a half. She has started to give up napping. I'm cool with this decision or "down wit it" as the younglings say. The only problem with her wanting to give up her afternoon nap is that by 5:00, demons start pouring out of her mouth and ears. Big purple demons with pitchforks, torches, butcher knives and clipboards asking if you have a minute for a small survey. They make her rampage through the house knocking down her brother and looking for small animals to stomp.

So I've started doing the Mom Thing of "You don't have to sleep. Just lay down and rest for a while." This isn't going over well, either. She takes this time to pin Pink Baby and Ernie to the wall by the crib rail and then strip her fitted sheet off the bed and wear it like a cape.

Next is my two year old, Gideon. The Boy still needs a nap and he will still take a nap.

Eventually.

First he has to do the I'm-Not-Tired dance for about 4 hours. Then he has to stare into space like a zombie for another 30 minutes. He has to refuse all food you give him and then try to eat the dried up macaroni that the vacuum missed on the floor under the ottoman. He has to stop playing with all 10 gazillion of his toys and only want your skillets and something from the recycling bin. Then he has to crawl all over you like you are Kilimanjaro. (YOU ARE THERE.) Once you get him into the bed, he has to take off the fitted sheet (what is with this?!) and try to crawl under his mattress.

Then he will finally pass out cold 20 minutes before you need to leave to go somewhere.

Milly takes about 3 naps a day. Well, according to the schedule, she takes 3 naps a day. In truth, she screams like she's being skinned alive until I feed her a bottle and then will army crawl over the entire living room looking for razor blades to swallow. She will slither up behind her brother and grab his ankle causing him to leap 40 feet into the air and clutch the ceiling fan. Then, when she is yawning, she gently lays down and everything is wonderful.

For about 40 minutes.

My mother has asked me before why I put my kids to bed at 7:00. ("It's so early!)

Mama's tired, yo.

A Quick Note

Darling Children,

Mommy has not had her anti-anxiety medication for a whole week now. Mommy is getting dangerously close to insanity.

EAT YOUR SUPPER SO I CAN CHANGE YOUR DIAPERS AND PUT YOU TO BED OR MOMMY IS GOING TO STAPLE YOU TO THE CEILING.

Mommy loves you.

Plague

It began with a sniffle.

I think it was Gideon. He had a runny nose two weeks ago. He was also drooling and had random low grade fevers. I brushed it off as teething and dosed him with ibuprofen whenever he needed it. Then he started coughing and Sophie started sniffing. Gideon got through it first and Sophie followed quickly. They are both back to normal. Milly and I got sick around the same time last week. I took her to the pediatrician last Wednesday and found out that she had her first ear infection. I went to the clinic and came out with a sinus infection diagnosis. Ben and I juggled wildly as we pushed fluids, made our kids sleep and generally tried to make them well. Milly is finishing her antibiotic and still has a shade of a cough but is feeling much better.

Then there's Mom.

This weekend was bad. On Saturday night, I spiked a fever and began coughing. HARD. It's that deep, nasty chest cough that makes people back away from you in public. Mother's Day was supposed to be spent at church with a Parent/Child Dedication where we would dedicate Milly alongside our friends. Instead, I stayed in bed until 1:00. I'm killing tree after tree with my tissue usage. Green tea with honey is AMAZING.

As evidenced by the births of my children, nothing leaves my body without a production. This cold/sinus infection/Martian Death Plague is no different. There will be a full orchestra. There will be Chinese acrobats. There will be daredevil bike riders jumping over flaming pools of sharks and monkeys with kazoos playing "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?" while a Spandex-clad choir sings along in Russian while making jazz hands.

I think my medicine is kicking in.

Getaway

Last Wednesday Gideon and I spent the night as guests of Children's Legacy. He had an ear infection, a high fever and was struggling to breathe. I was worried about it settling in his lungs and having another pneumonia stay like last year. He had a chest x-ray, an IV steroid and a few breathing treatments. They kept him overnight for observation and the next morning everyone was satisfied that the danger had passed. Gideon went through a lot that day including a Torquemada-like device to keep him in place for the x-ray, an IV with a splint to prevent him from moving his arm and getting cathed for a urine sample that made him terrified to potty for the rest of the night. I held that kid on my chest most of the night. It reminded me of nights in the NICU. Of course, now he weighed 25 pounds instead of 6.

On Friday, we realized that I was sick too. Ben stayed home and helped get Sophie to the pediatrician and me to the clinic. Sophie has a blocked ear tube and I have a sinus infection so ear drops for her and an antibiotic for me. The whole weekend has been a blur of wiping noses, naps and sitting on children's chests to force them to take their medicine.

On Saturday, Sophie had an EPIC tantrum that lasted an hour. She fought me like the devil and then passed out in my arms. She was just tired, sick and angry. She had to take it out on someone and I offered myself. Once she was done fighting and had fallen asleep, I eased myself away from her to let her sleep. She whimpered and grabbed back at me. I put my arms around her and let her sleep in my embrace for a while. It's OK to need your Mama. Lord knows, I needed to love on my baby.

Today it's raining. We're all getting better but we're still coughing. Tempers are still a little tender. The weather and sinus infection makes my head hurt so I've taken my heavy duty medicine. Mama's a little bit zombified.

Every once and a while I put my head back and daydream about a quiet beach. A big comfy chair with an umbrella, my husband beside me, a good book and a cold drink. My bare toes buried in the warm sand.

I really like that dream.