Big Brave Girl

Milly had her ear tubes put in last week. Sophie had this done a few years ago so we had some idea of what to expect. My mother graciously came out to our house at the butt crack of dawn to be here for the other monsters. Ben and I loved on Milly and loaded her into the car. She had no idea what was happening but she was the only kid with Mama and Dada and that's just pretty wonderful in her book.

We got to the hospital and Milly began to get a little anxious. She watched from her perch on Daddy's arms with her thumb in her mouth and a worried wrinkle between her eyes. When we got to her room, she came to me and refused to get out of my arms. We coaxed her down onto the crib long enough to get her little hospital gown on and then she clawed her way back onto my chest. We turned on the little TV in the room and watched a little Chuggington. Then, Mickey Mouse came on.

She finally crawled out of my lap and went to watch her beloved Mouse cavort.

Ben says that even the kiddo gowns leave nothing to the imagination.

Nurses came in and out to have us sign forms and take Milly's vitals. Then we finally saw her doctor who told us that they were almost ready. A nurse came with a warmed blanket and I gave Milly over to her. We heard her little cries all the way down the hallway. No matter how used to this I was, that still made my heart hurt.

Luckily, I didn't even finish my terrible hospital coffee before her doctor came back in to tell us that they were done! We shook his hand and waited for our Sunshine.

Here's the thing; when Sophie had this done, the nurses and doctor told us that she might be "a little agitated" when she was coming out of the anesthesia. When they brought Sophie back to us...well...that kid Hulked out. It looked like she was about to hunt down every single person involved in this travesty so that she could burn down their house and kick their pets. She cried, screamed and raged for about 20 minutes before I finally pinned her to the bed with a blanket. Once we got her still and got Sesame Street on then she finally began to calm down.

Needless to say, we were worried when we heard our little Sunshine's cries down the hallway again. They rolled her hospital crib into the room and I picked her up. Milly buried her head on my shoulder and sobbed. We gave her some diluted juice and she eagerly gulped down half of the cup before tossing it down. I sat in the rocking chair with Milly wrapped in a big blanket and cradled on my chest. We turned off all of the lights and I just rocked my precious little girl.

5 minutes and that kid stopped crying. Her little eyelashes fluttered as she fought sleep. I was so grateful that she accepted my comfort and lullabies.

I passed her to her Daddy after a bit and gave her the rest of her juice. By the time they were done taking her vitals and making sure she was going to be OK, she was acting like nothing had happened. She was standing on the crib laughing at Mickey again.

While walking to the car, we realized that she was whipping her head around in confusion at the bird sounds. She can hear! While driving home, we gave praise to God that our sweet brave girl did so well. She's still responding so well to sounds and she's starting to make new sounds herself.

Also? That whole "sorry-mom-I-can't-hear-you-so-I-can't-do-what-you-just-ordered" thing is no longer valid. Now she has to come when I call her. Theoretically.

Mama Has Christmas Spirit

Mama Has Christmas Spirit by crankytoddler featuring christmas jewelry

Life List

Here are the next 5 in my Life List. What are you going to do with your life?

6. Do a 5K and run the whole time. 
7. Finish my bachelor’s degree. 
8. Copy Bible verses into a homemade art journal. 
9. Learn conversational Spanish. 
10. Take a pottery class.

Mama Needs Some Wiggle Room

My Life List: 5 at a Time

A Life List is 100 things that you would like to do before you leave this Earth. I'm working on mine and will share it with you 5 items at a time.


1. Make matching dresses for me, Sophie and Milly. 
2. Begin and lead a support group for Christian women struggling with depression and anxiety. 
3. Paint “feeling” portraits based on my favorite songs. 
4. Make care packages for NICU parents.  
5. Learn  to play the bass.

What about you? Have you ever made a Life List?

A Good Influence

I went to a church from 1st/2nd grade until I was a freshman. I grew up around some amazing people. Some of those people are now back in my life thanks to social media. (Fine. Facebook. I'M TOO OLD FOR THE TUMBLR.)

MANDY
There was a girl a few years older than me with beautiful red hair and the voice of an angel. Seriously, everyone stopped in wonder when Mandy sang. I sang in the children's and youth choirs the whole time we attended this church. I watched Mandy sing countless solos and could not even feel envy because she was so amazing. Mandy unknowingly pushed me to continue singing and take lessons to hone my voice. In high school, I nabbed my own fair share of solos. Now we comment back and forth on our statuses about kid antics and other minutia. I wonder if she still sings.

BRANDON
Brandon was a force of nature. He could sing. He could act. He could bring you to hysterical tears with a funny story. I don't think he has ever met a stranger. Even if you were 4 years younger, he still made you feel important. He taught me to put aside my comfort zone and step into the spotlight. I learned that I could stumble on my lines and still get laughs. I still have scars from when Brandon ran up behind another boy at the water park who was talking to a chaperone and pantsed him and HEY NOW I KNOW THAT BOYS DON'T WEAR ANYTHING UNDER THEIR SWIMSUITS. I love reading his travel stories and seeing the pictures of fun places he's been. It looks like many others have seen how dynamic and fun Brandon can be as your friend.

ASHLEY AND HEATHER
Ashley and Heather were both my age. I think they have been friends and both attended that church since the beginning of their lives. Both were (and still are) gorgeous, talented and brilliant. They were good friends who honestly cared about others. Now they are grown women each with a little girl. Those girls are also friends and remind me so much of the girls I grew up with. I'm grateful to still call them friends.

SHANNON
Oh dear. Where to begin? Shannon was my best friend. Only a year older, she went before me and I followed her like a little sister. I'm the oldest in my family and a big sibling was something I never got to experience. Shannon gave me that. She started high school and band first and told me how cool it was. We went to my first concert together. (Audio Adrenaline and DC Talk. 90's kids, REPRESENT.) I still remember her advice to all of the other girls going on "Date Night" at church camp. "You're going to be sitting next to this boy during dinner and service. CLEAN YOUR EARS." I'm thrilled to know that she'll get to pass down this essential knowledge to her little girl.  I love hearing about her homeschooling adventures with her boy and girl. I feel so blessed that she is back in my life.

Thank you. Thank you for what you taught me, what you shared with me and for friending me again.

Hot Diggety Dog

Sophie: "You wanna hot dog?"

Me: "You want a hot dog for dinner?"

Sophie: "A hog dog!"

Me: "OK, we'll get you a hot dog."

*beat*

Sophie: "Hot dog?!"

Me: "Yes, Sophie. We're getting you a hot dog."

*beat*

Sophie: "Hot dog?!"

Me: "Yes, Sophie. I just ordered your hot dog."

*beat*

Sophie: "But...hot dog?"

Me: "Sophie, the hot dog is in the front seat. We're going home and you can eat your hot dog."

*beat*

Sophie: "Hot dog?!?"

Me: "SOPHIE. Walk into the house and I will put the hot dog down in front of you and YOU CAN EAT THE HOT DOG."

*go inside. put hot dog on the table in front of child.*

Sophie: "...NOPE."

Not one bite was eaten by the girl.

If you will excuse me, I'm going to go replace my brain with a toothpick model of Mount Rushmore.